Category: Education
Fifty Shades of White
When I was first learning how to color in 1st grade, my art teacher taught us about red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, black and white. Pretty much all the colors I’ve needed ever since. Then I got my first…
2015 Advice for Graduating Students
I’d been working as an administrative assistant at an Ivy League university for about a year when my boss, the school’s marketing director, asked me to compile a list of inspirational quotes for the graduating class. I dutifully sent a…
College Student Sues Toyota For Tinnitus
Stevens Point, Wisconsin—Tinnitus is a condition that causes a ringing in the ears. Nearly 1 out of every 10 Americans suffer from tinnitus. Though severity of the noise is on a case-by-case basis, tinnitus has been known to cause people…
It Turns Out That Everything Is Obama’s Fault
It seems as if Barack Obama is getting blamed for everything. The Republicans are blaming him for every foreign hotspot including Iraq, Ukraine and Israel. Every domestic problem also seems to be the President’s doing, so much so that the…
Gambling Classes to be Added to School Curriculum in 5 Different States
Stop complaining that school doesn’t prepare you for real life. “The Real World, Real Skills Bill” has finally passed through the senate — adding gambling classes to the core curriculum of five states. The teachers are abuzz, students are excited and…
Libraries- The Great Whores Of The Literary World
There used to be a sanctuary to which you could retire for that most blessed and peaceful of soul satisfying balms- silence. This sanctuary was known as a ‘library’ and throughout the world they could be considered a trustworthy and…
Yes I Can: President Obama Decides to Become Kindergarten Chanter
When President Obama’s presidency finishes, he won’t be out of a job. Well, he might be out of a job before his Presidency finishes, if the Republicans succeed in impeaching him. Still, the President says that whenever he leaves the…
Sex Ed Declared Gross and Bad
Oakland, Indiana — Sexual Education is a course dealing with human sexuality, including anatomy, reproduction, health, and reproductive rights and responsibilities. The topic of whether or not sexual education should be instructed in public schools is still highly controversial and…
HS Student Answers Every SAT Question w/ “Google”, Gets Perfect Score
HERMINIE, PA — Local High School Student Roger Burman recently scored a perfect 2400 on the Scholastic Aptitude Test (SAT) after answering every question with the word, “Google,” sources report. According to English Teacher Frank Gimley, who proctored the exam,…
Professor Astounds Crowd with Staggering Ignorance of Pop Culture
SAINT PAUL, MN—Speaking before a mesmerized audience at Hamline University Thursday, Professor Malcolm Forsythe floored the crowd with his complete and utter lack of knowledge regarding even the vaguest details of anything going on in recent pop culture. Stunned students…