Category: Education
Job Advice: Know When it’s Time to Go
In my 30 years as a professional employment specialist, I have created the state of unemployment numerous times for many different reasons. Each “involuntary separation” has its own set of unique challenges and style points, but I consider a few…
Pappy Worked His Way Through College; Jr. is Boned
We’ve heard it countless times from conservatives, congressan and conservative congressman… My dad (the speaker) was poor, but he worked his way through college, and “here I am! A self-made success!” Yeah, those days are gone. An aspiring poor simply…
School District Hires Adult Film Stars to Teach Sex Ed Classes
(Corry, PA) – In what will be known as one of the most progressive decisions in academic history, the members of the Corry Area School District of Erie County Pennsylvania have voted to allow adult film stars, Raven Gavina and…
Business Lesson #39: Awlays Proffread Yoru Wrok
As a successful entrepreneur and highly sought-after business guru, Glossy News often consults me to provide my business advice for people trying to climb the ladder of success “How can I ever become as successful as you?” Well the short…
New Bumper Stickers For Our Mass Educated Times
For years we have heard the mantra that ‘If you can read this, thank a teacher” thrown at us from bumper stickers and signs everywhere. Of course the school system will surely not broadcast so loudly their failings- the brainwash,…
Sarah Palin Receives PhD in General Studies
Conservatives around the nation are rejoicing at news that former Governor Sarah Palin of Alaska has be awarded a Doctorate of Philosophy in General Studies by Pensacola Christian College. According to sources close to the governor, Palin began working on…
College Nerd Gets Back at Frat Guys
After semesters of humiliation, a major league nerd at the University of Arizona has exacted revenge on the group of frat brothers who targeted him for ridicule for his nerdiness, among other faults. In a personal interview with Bill Maher,…
Progress in Education Reform: The We Don’t Care about Our Children Act
With the pending education fiscal cuts, the White House and Congress have cooperated in creating a proactive initiative that is not only financially feasible, but will ensure quality education. Working with other members of the Committee on Education and the…
Libertarian Realizes His Ideas Make No Sense
AUBURN – After years of internal struggle, a Libertarian activist has come forth and admitted his chosen ideology does not make any sense. Jon Rockwell, 23, who likes to go by the nickname “Voluntaryist Rand,” told reporters that Libertarianism cannot…
Cornfed Beefcake Seeks Harvard Professorship
RANSON – An angry, cornfed beefcake has announced his intention to quit the family farm and apply for a full professorship at Harvard University. Josiah Wilkins, who has only completed a GED and 10 college credits, made his plans clear…