Category: Science & Technologizzy
Komodo Dragon Genome Escapes from Computer Lab
Austin, Tex. — An entire Komodo Dragon genome has reportedly got loose from a MySQL database at Infinite Loop Biological Research Co. in Austin, Tex. and is already starting to breed and reproduce itself in computers and computer networks worldwide….
New Species of Lunatic Discovered
Psycho-zoology has long been considered a low-glamour science. While botanists and biologists regularly grab headlines with new discoveries, psycho-zoologists labor in obscurity. Experts have always believed there aren’t any new ‘burnt cookie’ species to be identified, due to the thorough…
Poodles Dropping Like Flies in France
First it was fishes, then it was birds, now it’s poodles. Thousands of standard poodles are dropping like flies in France. While miniature, tea cup, toy and other varieties of poodles seem to be thriving in France and other parts…
Baby Boomer Planning Ap Pushes Retirement Age to 170
A new computer application available to baby boomers, who are now reaching retirement age at the rate of 10,000 a day, allows optimistic boomers to plan for an affluent retirement at the ripe old age of 170. The program allows…
Wikileaks Insider Leak: Assange is Developing Nuclear Capabilities
United States intelligence sources are claiming that Wilileaks Founder, Julian Assange’s recent release of highly sensitive cables is just the tip of the iceberg of what Assange is truly capable of. They paint the picture of a man who considers…
Sarah Palin’s Mojo Explained by Voodoo Research
Scientists researching the phenomena of Politically Incorrect Mass Propaganda Syndrome (PIMPS) announced a breakthrough into the biggest question of 2010: “What makes Sarah Palin perpetually politically relevant?” After statistically modeling data from thousands of successful people, researchers contend that the…
So. Cal Mystery Missile Tale Takes New Turn
It began with video from a California news helicopter. A rapidly ascending object is seen leaving a con trail against the backdrop of a beautiful sunset, several miles offshore. Rampant speculation followed, amid Pentagon denials of any ‘Area 51’ type…
India Plans Space Station Call Ctr., How May It Help You?
BANGALORE, INDIA (Glossy News) — India plans to launch its first manned space mission in 2016, moving to become the fourth nation to put a man in space (fifth if you count Russia and the USSR separately, which many cold…
WalMart To Stock Nobel Peace Prize In Stores For Christmas
Benton, AR – (Glossy News) WalMart retailers across the US are all set to stock The Nobel Peace Prize on their store shelves in time for the Christmas buying season. Officials claim there will be plenty to go around and…
DIY Assault Rifle Goes on Sale, Despite ACLU Support
BMB Industries has introduced the new Black Momba Assault Rifle Kit claiming, ‘it can be assembled right in the peace and comfort of your own home using simple, everyday tools.’ The Black Momba kit, model M-160-B assault rifle, will be…