Category: Entertainment
Insider: Kato Kaelin to Join NPR for “Balance”
An unusually combative Janet Bryce-Flaverhaven spoke to reporters this week as she unveiled the long awaited 2011 NPR schedule. The venerable broadcasting behemoth, much loved by hundreds of listeners, has been a topic of much recent scrutiny. The reflexive firing…
Republicans Earn Oscar Nod for ‘Best Act Put On By A Political Organization’
The Academy of Motion Pictures Arts & Sciences Committee has nominated the Republican Party for a special judges Oscar this year, ‘Best Act Put On By A Political Organization.’ Mrs. Tallulah Bankaccount, head of the board overseeing nominations, stated “The…
Music-Composing Super Computer Deemed a Failure
PITTSBURGH, Pennsylvania – A scientist at a local university has declared his greatest achievement, a computer capable of composing original music, a complete failure. Dr. William T. Corn had been working for over fifteen years on the Artificial Music Operation Project,…
Unproduced Film Hailed as Chris Nolan’s Biggest Hit Yet
LOS ANGELES, California – After acheiving Blockbuster success with his film “Inception,” writer/director Christopher Nolan has done it again. Critics and fans are already hailing his new film as the greatest ever made. It has already made many critics favorites…
Pundit Recycling Program Deemed Success
Posted by your South America correspondents, Maria and Consuela Lopez. We heard somebody named Juan Williams got fired from NPR and wanted to get the real story. Because the excuse that was given, well? Gringos are a little off in…
Johnny Depp School Visit Ends in Tragedy
LONDON, United Kingdom (Glossy News) — What was meant to be a special day for children at Middleburytonshire Elementary will be recalled quite differently after a surprise visit from Johnny Depp took a turn for the worse. Precocious Jessica Smythe-Flaverhaven…
Arriva PLC Threatens Satirists Who Never Even Mentioned Them
SEATTLE, Former British Colonies (GlossyNews) – On Sunday, the 27th of June, 2010, the headquarters of Glossy News was shocked to receive a notice from the solicitors of Arriva PLC (www.arriva.co.uk ) demanding that Glossy News cease and desist. Due…
US wins Supercomputer Race w/ Record-Breaking Chinese Computer
It was announced this week that China now owns the world’s fastest computer, which is a great victory for Americans, since the technology is far from new, and the technology all comes from Santa Clara, California. That’s clearly a boon…
Chiclones and Windpocalypses and NDizzards, Oh My
EDITORIAL (GlossyNews) — Meteorologists, or Weather Forecasters as they like to refer to themselves, have always found it hard to keep their audiences happy. If they call for sunshine and it rains, the first people blamed are the forecasters. For…
Sally Field Implodes as Entire Skeletal Structure Collapses
Appearing at a news conference plopped inside a prosthetic device that could only be described as a bucket, Sally Field wondered if anyone will still like her after she experienced a violent adverse reaction to the osteoporosis drug, Boniva. “A…