Pundit Recycling Program Deemed Success

Posted by your South America correspondents, Maria and Consuela Lopez. We heard somebody named Juan Williams got fired from NPR and wanted to get the real story. Because the excuse that was given, well? Gringos are a little off in the cabeza, but that just didn’t make sense. He said that seeing a bunch of Muslims in traditional outfits on a plane makes him nervous, and he gets fired?

Parallel parking makes me nervous; is somebody going to cancel my auto insurance for that? In a free society, a person should be able to admit to understandable emotions without facing serious concussions.

Hermana, the word you want there is ‘repercussions’ I believe.

They know what I mean Consuela. Who do you think you are, Emily Dickens?

So anyway, we wanted to learn the real reason Mr. Williams was fired. We sought the government person who is in charge of public radio. We called NPR but they didn’t know. Eventually we looked it up on Wikipedia; it’s Lynda Carter. Yeah, the ‘Wonder Woman’ woman. She was surprised to find out too! You should’ve seen the look on her face, seriously you should. What a beautiful lady. I only hope we look that good at her age.

Maria, we don’t look that good right now.

So Ms. Carter figured she’s in charge of NPR because of doing an Obama fund raiser in 2008, and the White House people forgot to tell her about the appointment. She graciously made a few phone calls for us though, and found out Juan was fired through the Department of Energy. From them we learned some very interesting things.

First, Juan Williams isn’t Latino at all. He’s a black guy! Second, his firing was scheduled long before the ‘Sheiks on a plane’ statement. It’s all a pilot program to see if TV talking heads are interchangeable. Reducing the amount of garbage will slow global warming. Pundit talk is all verbal garbage, so we must reduce the number of pundits.

According to the Energy Department, so far so good in this pilot program. Juan is gone from NPR, but has a $2 mil contract with FOX News. Next thing will be to see if Ann Coulter can get a job at MSNBC.

Author: Liberties-Taken

I write gags for Glossy News when an idea pops into my pumpkin sized head. Don't make a big deal out of it, OK? I contribute to my local food pantry and you should too.

5 thoughts on “Pundit Recycling Program Deemed Success

  1. I dunno Mr. White; perhaps Radio Pacifica or Mother Jones would be shelter to Leftists banned from cable.

    Juan Williams shouldn’t have lost the NPR gig, anymore than Shirley Sherrod should’ve lost her Ag job. And the CNN person who called Jon Stewart a bigot shouldn’t have been fired either.

    We can’t have honest public discourse on some important topics in this country, because the Thought Police are out in full riot gear, both from the Left & Right.

  2. This sets a strange precedent. So if I’m a commentator, I should rest assured that if I make wild, unpopular comments (to the far right, of course) I can do so with impunity, knowing I’ll have a comfy home at FOX with 10-times the salary?

    There’s no such landing zone for comments to the far left, and frankly, I don’t even know what a comment to the far left would even be.

    … I think cats should get the vote!

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