Archive | Music

Bodyguard Sues Wrong Bieber Out of Shame

Bodyguard Sues Wrong Bieber Out of Shame

After learning just a day ago about a lawsuit filed against Justin Bieber by Moshe Benabou, a former bodyguard of the teen singer, this reporter felt there had to be more to the story than met the eye, and boy, was I right!

After doing some judicious investigating, I discovered that some time last October, Jeremy Bieber, who does not live with his son or the boy’s mother, had gone to the teen sensation’s dressing room in order to congratulate him after yet another successful concert, but after opening the door, found him ‘relaxing’ with the aforementioned Benabou. Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Music2 Comments

An Interview With Philip Glass During the Apocalypse

An Interview With Philip Glass During the Apocalypse

New York – In the refined New York home of Philip Glass, the great American minimalist pianist, we discussed the finer points of symphonic and chamber music over cheese and 10-year old Merlot wine.

Q: When you first began playing the piano, who were the composers that you found most influential?

A: I really enjoyed the compositions of my pet rock, Barney. I used to let him lay on the keyboard and play a single note for hours on end. It was an epiphany… Continue Reading

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Posted in Music1 Comment

What If Famous Singers Had Endured Simon Cowell’s Acid Tongue On American Idol?

What If Famous Singers Had Endured Simon Cowell’s Acid Tongue On American Idol?

Where would they be today if now famous pop artists had gone through the initiation process gauntlet that other contestants had gone through on the mega hit American Idol Show?

If they had to withstand Simon Cowell’s smarmy, dagger sharp verdicts many would have probably been mowed down like mushrooms to a lawn mower. Let’s take a trip back to the mid 2000’s and see how many of today’s artists would have fared had they been scrutinized by ‘Simon Says’ and what he would have said to them… Continue Reading

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Posted in Music, Television2 Comments

Taylor Hicks Shocked to Hear Taylor Hicks on the Radio

Taylor Hicks Shocked to Hear Taylor Hicks on the Radio

Erstwhile American Idol victor Taylor Hicks was shopping Thursday in a Ralph’s, a supermarket owned by the Kroger company, when he heard something come over the PA that shocked him; a Taylor Hicks song.

“I heard it and I was in shock,” said a stunned, gray Hicks. “This is the first time since about three months after [I won season five of American Idol] that I’ve heard my music on the radio.” Continue Reading

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Posted in Music8 Comments

Omphaloskepsistic Guitar Soloist’s Shameful Arrest

Omphaloskepsistic Guitar Soloist’s Shameful Arrest

A man was arrested by police in the small hours of yesterday night after an angry woman made a call to the emergency services from a bar just outside the suburbs of New York.

Police were called to the scene at about 2:30am where it is believed that a band known as The F Zappas were playing.

It is understood that police stormed the bar, hurried on stage and arrested the lead guitarist on suspicion of guitar wanking. Continue Reading

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Posted in Music1 Comment

The ‘Lee Harvey Oswald Band’ Plays To Sell-Out Crowds In Dallas Nightspot

The ‘Lee Harvey Oswald Band’ Plays To Sell-Out Crowds In Dallas Nightspot

Dallas, Texas – (SatireWorld.com) Rockers Lee Harvey Oswald and Jack Ruby have a few kind words for their fans…’We love you guys!’ Ever since the rock band ‘The Lee Harvey Oswald Band’ was formed success seems to have followed them wherever they play.

First formed in 1963, the band has endured trials and travesties until it signed a record deal with MCA in 1968. The rest is recording history as the popular bar band has sold almost 700 Billion albums across the world. Continue Reading

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Posted in Entertainment, Music1 Comment

Exclusive Interview with Kanye West

Exclusive Interview with Kanye West

I recently had the opportunity to sit down and speak with one of the most popular and successful hip-hop artists of our time: Mr. Kanye West. The following is a transcript of our interview.

BDF: Good morning. It’s truly an honor to be able to get to meet with you.

MR. WEST: Yeah, it is.

BDF: Do you mind if I call you Kanye?

MR. WEST: Naw. Continue Reading

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Posted in Music2 Comments

Having a Yard Sale? What You Want for Leonard Nimoy Sings His Favorite Star Trek Christmas Songs?

Having a Yard Sale? What You Want for Leonard Nimoy Sings His Favorite Star Trek Christmas Songs?

Experts agree, spring and summer are synonymous with yard sales. All over America, moms are clearing out their overstuffed closets, getting rid of old, worthless, outdated junk that no longer serves any useful purpose. And they’re not just talking about their husbands lying on the couch drinking beer and watching the Poker Channel.

They are also talking about that lime green Nehru jacket Ned Terwiller bought in 1972, which never was in style to begin with. Or that model train set that Herb Hobart’s kids last played with during the Reagan administration. Continue Reading

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Posted in Music3 Comments

FBI Paints Up, Infiltrates Insane Clown Posse

FBI Paints Up, Infiltrates Insane Clown Posse

The F.B.I. reports that they have their hands full with the notorious street gang, the Juggalos aka Insane Clown Posse (ICP) fans. The Bureau defines ICP fans as a “loosely-organized hybrid gang,” that “exhibits gang-like behavior and engages in criminal activity and violence.”

Things have gotten so out of hand that the F.B.I. has shifted undercover agents in the Kiss Army to infiltrate Juggalo subsets. F.B.I. Director, Robert Mueller stated “These lousy kids and their Rock N’ Roll are a menace! I swear to bring down the full weight of the F.B.I. on these clowns.” Continue Reading

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Posted in Crime, Music6 Comments

Octomom weds Chaz Bono

Octomom weds Chaz Bono

Photographers filled sidewalks outside Graceland Chapel this weekend, spilling out into the street and blocking traffic. The paparazzi had thronged to Vegas for a snapshot of what’s being called the wedding of the century. Chaz Bono and a radiant Nadya Suleman became man and wife as a small group of friends and relatives looked on. Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Music, Top Stories1 Comment

Study: Listening to ABBA May Raise Infants’ IQ’s, Curiosity

Study: Listening to ABBA May Raise Infants’ IQ’s, Curiosity

A new study by the Millennial Institute of Advanced Research on 2150 newborn babies in Minnesota has found a significant increase in IQ scores of babies forced to listen to old ABBA songs at least two hours a day.

“This is a surprising result,” notes chief scientist Riley Ruster, “as ABBA tunes were actually tested on the babies by mistake. We intended to test Bach on them but the research assistant misread our specification of `Bach’ for `ABBA.’ By this serendipitous route we have achieved a remarkable breakthrough.” Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Music1 Comment

Christina Aguilera Leads Fight to Change America’s National Anthem

Christina Aguilera Leads Fight to Change America’s National Anthem

Christina Aguilera has had enough of the criticism for her flubbing the Star-Spangled Banner during this year’s Super Bowl. She claims that only a handful of Americans actually know all the words to the ‘incredibly difficult and outdated’ song and because of that, she wants to lead a fight to change the song to one that is more singer-friendly. Continue Reading

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Posted in Entertainment, Music9 Comments

Ghost of Les Paul Haunts Pete Townsend of The Who

Ghost of Les Paul Haunts Pete Townsend of The Who

Pete Townsend, guitarist extraordinaire for The Who, wasn’t the first artist to destroy a musical instrument on stage. Jerry Lee Lewis is said to have destroyed a few pianos by setting fire to them, Jimi Hendrix destroyed a few guitars in his short time on this earth. And other big names, including Keith Moon, band mate of Townsend, got a kick out of blowing up his drum sets. Continue Reading

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Posted in Music, Strange People5 Comments

American Idol’s Simon Cowell Reams Famous American Idols

American Idol’s Simon Cowell Reams Famous American Idols

What would have happened if Simon Cowell, the inspiration and chief executioner for the wildly popular American Idol show had been around to judge the big stars of American music before they became legends.

Just how many of them would have survived the gauntlet of his withering criticism? I think many would have curled up under his sarcasm like slugs deluged by salt and withered away. Continue Reading

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Posted in Music, Television11 Comments

Jack and Diane Done: John Mellencamp Divorces

Jack and Diane Done: John Mellencamp Divorces

After 4 multi-platinum records, 6 platinum records, three gold records, and a string of four consecutive records that achieved no real status due to high amounts of sucking, John Mellencamp is ending his 20 years marriage, citing “it’s none of your business why.”

Mrs Mellencamp, who is described by her publicist as “a model”, and by everyone else as “a former model”, has yet to comment on the reasons for the separation, but anyone familiar with celebrity have a few good ideas. Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Music0 Comments

Willow Smith Knows Who Her Daddy Is, Better Have His Money

Willow Smith Knows Who Her Daddy Is, Better Have His Money

According to documents filed by Roc Nation, the Jay-Z owned record label of Willow Smith, the hip-hop tween isn’t an artist, which is something anyone who has heard her music would agree. So what is the daughter of Will Smith?

The documents show that Roc Nation entered into agreement with Spooky Girl, Inc. to record the young Miss Smith. Spooky Girl only has one client, Willow, and it only has one owner, a former recording artist by the name of – wait for it – Will Smith. Continue Reading

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Posted in Music0 Comments

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