Taylor Hicks Shocked to Hear Taylor Hicks on the Radio

Erstwhile American Idol victor Taylor Hicks was shopping Thursday in a Ralph’s, a supermarket owned by the Kroger company, when he heard something come over the PA that shocked him; a Taylor Hicks song.

“I heard it and I was in shock,” said a stunned, gray Hicks. “This is the first time since about three months after [I won season five of American Idol] that I’ve heard my music on the radio.” Read more Taylor Hicks Shocked to Hear Taylor Hicks on the Radio

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Omphaloskepsistic Guitar Soloist’s Shameful Arrest

A man was arrested by police in the small hours of yesterday night after an angry woman made a call to the emergency services from a bar just outside the suburbs of New York.

Police were called to the scene at about 2:30am where it is believed that a band known as The F Zappas were playing.

It is understood that police stormed the bar, hurried on stage and arrested the lead guitarist on suspicion of guitar wanking. Read more Omphaloskepsistic Guitar Soloist’s Shameful Arrest

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The ‘Lee Harvey Oswald Band’ Plays To Sell-Out Crowds In Dallas Nightspot

Dallas, Texas – (SatireWorld.com) Rockers Lee Harvey Oswald and Jack Ruby have a few kind words for their fans…’We love you guys!’ Ever since the rock band ‘The Lee Harvey Oswald Band’ was formed success seems to have followed them wherever they play.

First formed in 1963, the band has endured trials and travesties until it signed a record deal with MCA in 1968. The rest is recording history as the popular bar band has sold almost 700 Billion albums across the world. Read more The ‘Lee Harvey Oswald Band’ Plays To Sell-Out Crowds In Dallas Nightspot

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Exclusive Interview with Kanye West

I recently had the opportunity to sit down and speak with one of the most popular and successful hip-hop artists of our time: Mr. Kanye West. The following is a transcript of our interview.

BDF: Good morning. It’s truly an honor to be able to get to meet with you.

MR. WEST: Yeah, it is.

BDF: Do you mind if I call you Kanye?

MR. WEST: Naw. Read more Exclusive Interview with Kanye West

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Having a Yard Sale? What You Want for Leonard Nimoy Sings His Favorite Star Trek Christmas Songs?

Experts agree, spring and summer are synonymous with yard sales. All over America, moms are clearing out their overstuffed closets, getting rid of old, worthless, outdated junk that no longer serves any useful purpose. And they’re not just talking about their husbands lying on the couch drinking beer and watching the Poker Channel.

They are also talking about that lime green Nehru jacket Ned Terwiller bought in 1972, which never was in style to begin with. Or that model train set that Herb Hobart’s kids last played with during the Reagan administration. Read more Having a Yard Sale? What You Want for Leonard Nimoy Sings His Favorite Star Trek Christmas Songs?

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FBI Paints Up, Infiltrates Insane Clown Posse

The F.B.I. reports that they have their hands full with the notorious street gang, the Juggalos aka Insane Clown Posse (ICP) fans. The Bureau defines ICP fans as a “loosely-organized hybrid gang,” that “exhibits gang-like behavior and engages in criminal activity and violence.”

Things have gotten so out of hand that the F.B.I. has shifted undercover agents in the Kiss Army to infiltrate Juggalo subsets. F.B.I. Director, Robert Mueller stated “These lousy kids and their Rock N’ Roll are a menace! I swear to bring down the full weight of the F.B.I. on these clowns.” Read more FBI Paints Up, Infiltrates Insane Clown Posse

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Octomom weds Chaz Bono

Photographers filled sidewalks outside Graceland Chapel this weekend, spilling out into the street and blocking traffic. The paparazzi had thronged to Vegas for a snapshot of what’s being called the wedding of the century. Chaz Bono and a radiant Nadya Suleman became man and wife as a small group of friends and relatives looked on. Read more Octomom weds Chaz Bono

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Study: Listening to ABBA May Raise Infants’ IQ’s, Curiosity

A new study by the Millennial Institute of Advanced Research on 2150 newborn babies in Minnesota has found a significant increase in IQ scores of babies forced to listen to old ABBA songs at least two hours a day.

“This is a surprising result,” notes chief scientist Riley Ruster, “as ABBA tunes were actually tested on the babies by mistake. We intended to test Bach on them but the research assistant misread our specification of `Bach’ for `ABBA.’ By this serendipitous route we have achieved a remarkable breakthrough.” Read more Study: Listening to ABBA May Raise Infants’ IQ’s, Curiosity

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Christina Aguilera Leads Fight to Change America’s National Anthem

Christina Aguilera has had enough of the criticism for her flubbing the Star-Spangled Banner during this year’s Super Bowl. She claims that only a handful of Americans actually know all the words to the ‘incredibly difficult and outdated’ song and because of that, she wants to lead a fight to change the song to one that is more singer-friendly. Read more Christina Aguilera Leads Fight to Change America’s National Anthem

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Ghost of Les Paul Haunts Pete Townsend of The Who

Pete Townsend, guitarist extraordinaire for The Who, wasn’t the first artist to destroy a musical instrument on stage. Jerry Lee Lewis is said to have destroyed a few pianos by setting fire to them, Jimi Hendrix destroyed a few guitars in his short time on this earth. And other big names, including Keith Moon, band mate of Townsend, got a kick out of blowing up his drum sets. Read more Ghost of Les Paul Haunts Pete Townsend of The Who

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American Idol’s Simon Cowell Reams Famous American Idols

What would have happened if Simon Cowell, the inspiration and chief executioner for the wildly popular American Idol show had been around to judge the big stars of American music before they became legends.

Just how many of them would have survived the gauntlet of his withering criticism? I think many would have curled up under his sarcasm like slugs deluged by salt and withered away. Read more American Idol’s Simon Cowell Reams Famous American Idols

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Jack and Diane Done: John Mellencamp Divorces

After 4 multi-platinum records, 6 platinum records, three gold records, and a string of four consecutive records that achieved no real status due to high amounts of sucking, John Mellencamp is ending his 20 years marriage, citing “it’s none of your business why.”

Mrs Mellencamp, who is described by her publicist as “a model”, and by everyone else as “a former model”, has yet to comment on the reasons for the separation, but anyone familiar with celebrity have a few good ideas. Read more Jack and Diane Done: John Mellencamp Divorces

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Willow Smith Knows Who Her Daddy Is, Better Have His Money

According to documents filed by Roc Nation, the Jay-Z owned record label of Willow Smith, the hip-hop tween isn’t an artist, which is something anyone who has heard her music would agree. So what is the daughter of Will Smith?

The documents show that Roc Nation entered into agreement with Spooky Girl, Inc. to record the young Miss Smith. Spooky Girl only has one client, Willow, and it only has one owner, a former recording artist by the name of – wait for it – Will Smith. Read more Willow Smith Knows Who Her Daddy Is, Better Have His Money

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Lady Gaga’s Urinal Collection Raising Eyebrows

NEW YORK, NY – There are collectors and then there are collectors — those who transcend the bounds of baubles and nostalgia to dabble in the truly unusual. Some people are content to save stamps or coins. Others express their happiness with vintage record albums or memorabilia. But in the homes of fringe collectors, all of these objects are replaced by rarities such as shrunken heads, embalmed limbs of circus freaks, found art, and toilets. Among these collectors of the unusual, New York based rocker Lady Gaga stands out.

Upon entering her fashionable mid-town New York flat, one is struck with the decorating skills that make the home’s entrance comfortable and engaging — that is until one gains the living room, where along all three walls stand 22 fully working urinals, illuminated by hidden lights. Most are strikingly well preserved. Others evoke cringes to rival those seen in the public WCs at the Port Authority. Read more Lady Gaga’s Urinal Collection Raising Eyebrows

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Tim Minchen Funniest Thing out of Australia Since Boxing Kangaroos

Not to impune the comedic gold that is the phenomena of the impractical uselessness of the boomerang, nor the clever brilliance of Clarke & Dawe, but Tim Minchin (Wikipedia or TimMinchin.com) is as funny as anyone you’ll see, as musically brilliant as you could ever hope to find, and more entertaining than anyone you’ll never see in the United States. Read more Tim Minchen Funniest Thing out of Australia Since Boxing Kangaroos

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Folk Singer Succumbs to Irrelevance

Song stylist and political activist Adam Cohen has died, sources close to the family told Glossy News today. Cohen passed peacefully at his Greenwich Village apartment, after a long battle with colorectal cancer and raging irrelevance.

Cohen is best known for his seminal work with Adam, Eve & Cain. As member of that groundbreaking trio, Adam penned such unforgettable classics as “Leaving on a big Boat” but is better known for passionate anti-war and Civil Rights anthems. Read more Folk Singer Succumbs to Irrelevance

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God and Devil Near Reconciliation; Supergroup to Re-form

Reports indicate Lucifer and the Almighty One may be close to a rapprochement that could bring Satan back to Heaven in a yet undisclosed role. St. Mark, spokesman for the Heavenly press office, continues to state that Lucifer left of his own accord and insists that there are no official plans to add anyone to the Heavenly trio.

However, in the last few months there have been rumors of discussions between the two sides. Insiders reached via email and ouija board have indicated that thumbs are prickling and an official announcement may be coming. Read more God and Devil Near Reconciliation; Supergroup to Re-form

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Rap Bludgeoned by Ninja

CAPE TOWN, South Africa (GlossyNews) — Having been an astronaut, toymaker, and motivational speaker, Ninja boasts an unusually long resume for a white man. He was making his rounds through the slums of Cape Town, South Africa, where he worked for the liquor company Jagermeister by distributing its contaminated byproducts to disadvantaged minorities in an effort to cut down on waste management costs, when a chance encounter inspired him to start the rave-rap trio Die Antwoord.

“I saw this Coloured street performer,” he said during our interview last week in the trophy room of his country estate, a relic of his British colonialist ancestors’ diamond mining slave empire, Read more Rap Bludgeoned by Ninja

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