Noël Coward Parody: Don’t Let’s Be Beastly to Jihadists

Noël Coward famously sang ‘Don’t Let’s be Beastly to the Germans!’ As always, the dour and humorless were not impressed.

Yeah, Daily Mail link… I know! How things change in a few decades!

Compare the lyrics.

You will see the analogy to modern times where people are not content to say Islam ‘is not monolithic’ (which is actually a fair point), and go so far as to insinuate that Political Islamism is also not monolithic, or that Islamists have ‘legitimate grievances.’

You know what else isn’t monolithic, other than Political Islamism?

Nazism! (Just ask good old Ernie Röhm!)

Or how about the Gulags and Stalinist Show Trials?

Hm! Looks like Soviet ideology wasn’t monolithic either. If ‘demonizing’ all those ‘moderate’ political Islamists is a bad thing, it’s a pity Paul Scham wasn’t around back then to put everyone ‘right…’ 😉

By the way, all the moderate political Islamist gangs (including the Muslim Brotherhood, the Moderate Taliban, Moderate Daesh, and the Moderate Scientology Community People’s Temple of Raqqah) hate music. So let’s shove it to them as we like it!

For, as the wily old mummering book-worshipper Ibn Taymiyyah once said:

Music is the alcohol of the soul!

So, let’s all get plastered. And let the shraps fall where they may!


Don’t let’s be beastly to the Islamists

Just because they said that God is one,

It’s only non-moderate Islamists

Who are blowing themselves to pieces

And after all, they’re nice to Moses

Abraham and even Jesus!

Let’s be tolerant to them

And make our knees go bent for them,

And respect how Lord Khomeini forbids them fun.

Niqab rape culture? Parity

Our cash? More dodgy charities

But don’t let’s be beastly to the scum!

We must be pious,

And without a hint of lying Zionist bias

We must endeavour one and all to silence gays

To let the Islamists know that, when their jihad is over

Our children, not the choppers, have to pay

Dear, no! We must not beat

Nor strangle them with sheets,

Nor should Egypt’s prisons feed them haram meat

We must give them concert benefits

Not tell them that they’re full of shit

That we’ll harangue them, then we’ll hang them

No! Sell ‘em Yazidis, they must bang them!

Don’t let’s be beastly to the Islamists

They’re only having a bit of fanny fun.

Let us treat them very gently

As we would a valued ally:

Our GOP neocons will send them megaphones

For their hopey-changey rallys!

Let’s be nice to them,

And scrape the bastard lice from them

And say ‘beheading simply isn’t done.’

Let’s arm the filthy ratty men

And take back our Levant again,

But don’t let’s be un-PC to the scum!

A few of us must be dynamic

Without a hint of moral panic

And make the world turn bright before their eyes

We must croon their vassals nicely

‘My boy, remember, we judge rightly!’

And let the moderates napalm as they please!

For many, many aeons

They’ve been weeping over Zion

Because the poor jihad community

Lack privileged diplomatic immunity

And only strove

To save the world,

To shave the world,

And behead the world to mincemeat;

And that’s the time we ought to drop a helpful drumbeat!

Don’t let’s be unpleasant to the Islamists,

For you can’t deprive a chopper of his ax!

Though they’ve been a little nasty

To the Turks, Egyptians, and Iraqis

I don’t suppose those sheeple

Have the wit nor reason to object!

Let’s be PC with them

As the BBC makes free with them

We mustn’t prevent them stoning all their gays.

Let’s gently hum sweet nothings, love

Give freedom one more push and shove

But don’t let’s be fearful of the scum!

Don’t let’s be uncivil to the Islamists

When their petty Caliphate already has begun.

Send them Soviet/Saudi-style munitions

And secret military nutrition,

For the purely moderate Islamists

Are quite a joy with nuclear fission!

Let us wield our arts with them

Be loyal ‘People of the Book’ to them,

It’s mere toxic masculinity, blame the age!

Let’s fill them full of rage again,

And hope they act like manly men ,

But do let’s all surrender to the scum!



For a bit of unfairness and balance, see Electric Six parody in an hour about liberal interventionist and neocon warmongers: here, as always, at Glossy News!

Author: Wallace Runnymede

Wallace is the editor of Brian K. White's epic website, Glossy News! Email him with your content at (Should be @, not #!) Or if you'd like me to help you tease out some ideas that you can't quite put into concrete form, I'd love to have some dialogue with you! Catch me on Patreon too, or better still, help out our great writers on the official Glossy News Patreon (see the bottom of the homepage!) Don't forget to favourite Glossy News in your browser, and like us on Facebook too! And last but VERY MUCH not the least of all... Share, share, SHARE! Thanks so much for taking the time to check out our awesome site!