Author: TawdrySoup.Com
Ground Zero Camels More Offensive Than Joe Camel or Camel-Toe
NEW YORK (GlossyNews) — In a scene guaranteed to blow the stacks off the rabid Right, who insist no religion except Christianity should be worshiped within a 12,000 mile radius of Ground Zero, a herd of sub-quattro even-toed ungulates were…
Non-Racist Tea Party Holds Rally on Mexico-Arizona Border
NOGALES, Arizona (GlossyNews) — The Tea Party, which claims it is less racist than a blind beggar, held a rally on the Mexico-Arizona border today to demand the US Government, which they claim spends too much money, spend millions more…
Facebook Addiction Survivors Found Adrift in Cyberspace
RESTSTOP, Info Superhighway (GlossyNews) — A group of Facebook addiction survivors was found floating in cyberspace last night, clinging to the remnants of a past life spent ogling other people’s lives from the comfort of their home or office. The…
California Goes Green by Harnessing Hatred of Prop 8 Proponents
HUNTINGTON BEACH, California (GLossyNews) — A California scientist has come up with a novel idea: He has learned to harness the hatred of millions of bigoted Californians to create energy and make minorities rich in the process. Doctor Eli Lafitte,…
Trig Palin to Star as Arnold Jackson in ‘Diff’rent Strokes’ Movie
HOLLYWOODLAND, California (GlossyNews) — In a move sure to shake the entertainment world to its core, Sarah Palin, the poster girl for dumb broads everywhere, has found another way to pimp out a family member to get her palms greased…
Seuss Estate Files For Restraining Order Against Vuvuzela Manufacturer
HOOVILLE, Nova Scotia (GlossyNews) — The estate of Dr. Seuss has filed a restraining order against the manufacturer of the plastic horn known as the Vuvuzela, claiming copyright infringement. The order, handed down in the National Court of South Africa,…
Mel Gibson Tortures Wife During Racist Rant while World Looks Away
TEXARKANA, Texas (GlossyNews) — Melvin, or Mel, Gibson, a 75-year-old redneck from Rockdale, Texas, stood on the corner of Cameron Ave and Main this morning. He was dressed in the requisite T-shirt and stained khaki work pants and holding a…
Man Collapsed on Sidewalk Ignored by Over 200 Facebook Friends
Harry Salimi, a 52 year old New York resident, was walking his dog in a busy thoroughfare on Wednesday morning, when a sudden dizzy spell and radiating pains from his right hand sent him sprawling to the ground in a…
Pack of Gray Wolves Hunted Down Like Animals
BUTTE, Montana – The surviving members of a pack of gray wolves have claimed innocence in the ongoing battle between sheep ranchers and environmentalists, after an entire flock of sheep was found dead without any sign of wolves in the…
World’s Longest Hair Discovered in Bake Sale Cake
The World’s longest hair has been discovered by a good Samaritan who bought a 23 pound German chocolate cake from a group of Pentecostal ladies hosting a bake sale in front of a local department store. The 17 foot long…