Author: Bee
Business down the drainpipe for Mario Brothers
WORKERS have spoken of their sadness at a family run plumbing business has gone bust after 33 years trading. A group of plumbers in Louisville, KY announced last night that, the Mario Brothers Plumbing Ltd was to go into administration…
Cute Baby Rolls Over, Facebook Servers Crash
A SOCIAL media site descended into chaos last night following the news that a four-month-old baby had hit a milestone. According to reports, baby Molly, rolled on to her stomach to the delight of her proud mother, Bev Herman, who…
Michael Jackson, Whitney Housten, Reportedly Still Dead
THOUSANDS of social media users were shocked to learn that ‘music legends’ such as Michael Jackson and Whitney Huston are still dead. The distressing news came throughout the months following the announcement of the pop idols’ deaths. Mourners took to…
Housewife becomes Batman-like
A WOMAN has been arrested after she became ‘ninja-like’ and ‘overly mysterious’ while making dinner to the Batman soundtrack. Emergency services received a distress call from a very panicked husband at a home in suburban Seattle at around 5:45pm yesterday…
Satire Writer Bittered by Real Life
A SATIRE writer has become jaded after working on a ‘real’ newspaper. The satire writer, who can not be named because I don’t want to, has revealed to Glossy News that she, erm… that she, or he, has found it…
Microsoft Paperclip Endorses Mitt Romney
GlossyNews.com – The Microsoft Paperclip has declared that he is a Republican and has come to the aid of Mitt Romney with an 11th hour endorsement of the pro-corporate candidate. The Paperclip is largely known for his letter writing interventions,…
Protester Ousted for Using Capitalism-Made Product
A woman was removed from protest group Occupy after fellow member found out that she used commercial sanitary products. Mary Chambers was dishonorably dismissed from the group following an incident were her bag fell open and the contents fell to…
Psychic Doesn’t See Police Coming
Police have issued a statement confirming the arrest of a crystal ball reader in California. Known only as Mystic Mary Star Moon Shine Peters, the crystal ball reader was believed to have been arrested on charges of ‘false prediction’. Mystic…
Smells Good Enough Not To Eat
A study carried out by the US government has, today, published findings that show although perfume smells great, it, in fact, tastes disgusting. Research, that took over 17 years to complete, shows that of the 6,789 participants only 1.2% felt…
Very Enterprising: Casket of Candy
With the economy in dire conditions entrepreneurs are looking to invest in recession proof businesses resulting in hundreds of coffin/candy shops springing up all over the country. Often branded as the ‘place to bury a loved one and unearth a…