Month: February 2017
Stop Darwinophobia Now: Dawkinsism is the Science of Peace
I’m sick of all these privileged bigots claiming that New Atheists are somehow ‘superior’ to the Moderate Political Islamist Community. I mean, remember when A C Grayling was advocating beheading everyone who insulted his wife, or when Richard Dawkins wanted…
Mosquitoes- The Mini-Mes Of Vampires
Mosquitoes are evil little geniuses. They are adept enough to fly up, whine in your ear, then take off laughing as you whip yourself in the head trying to swat them. They know how to hold a victim in suspense…
Pomo Priorities (The Ballad of How Occidental Civilization Was Won & Lost)
1. Don’t say REAL MEN DON’T RAPE! That’s essentialist! But men shouldn’t rape…? STFU! Essentialist!!!!! *** 2. OMG! Stop comparing the Brotherhood to ISIS! But they’re theocrats… OMG! #Hashtag, not all moderate political Islamists!
CNN to Issue Trigger Warnings before Trump Appearances
NEW YORK – CNN today announced its new policy of issuing trigger warnings before showing the face of President Donald Trump to viewing audiences.
President Trump Trashes Oval Office
White House sources have confirmed that President Trump has caused considerable damage to the Oval Office. ‘He turned over tables,’ reported one source, ‘upended chairs, ripped curtaining and threw paintings out of smashed windows onto the White House lawn.’ ‘He…
Psychiatrists Reach Opposite Conclusions About President Trump’s Mental Health
Dateline: NEW YORK CITY—On Monday, Feb 15, the New York Times published a letter signed by 37 psychiatrists who expressed severe doubts about President Trump’s mental health. Trump “appears to have had the fragile mind of a two-year old implanted…
U.S. Department Stores Renew War on Christmas
If you haven’t entered a department store since early October, local man Skip Peters thinks you may be in for a shock. “Not one employee will wish you a merry Christmas,” he claims. According to Peters, stores across the country…
Fighting Over the Birth Canal
We fought the mosquitos for the Panama Canal. Thousands died fighting over the Suez Canal and between the snakes and the Untouchables, the Ganges Canal was a nightmare. But they were nothing compared to the current hubbub surrounding the Birth…
Brotherhood of Extemporaneous Unions Wins Big
The U.S. Supreme Court handed the Brotherhood of Extemporaneous Unions a clear victory yesterday by defining a labor union as “one or more people doing more or less the same thing.” The landmark case of BEU vs. Clive Nuevo, gave…
Children’s Alphabet Book Author Struggles to Find Animal Starting with Elemeno
C is for cat and E is for elephant. Every young child in the English-speaking world knows these two basic facts, thanks to the rhymes and illustrations of children’s alphabet books. However, it turns out, according to author Alfred Labette,…