Month: August 2014
St. Louis Rams Cut Michael Sam for Being “Not Gay Enough”
ST. LOUIS – In a statement released today by St. Louis Rams Head Coach Jeff Fischer, defensive end Michael Sam did not make the latest round of roster cuts because of his apparent lack of homosexual tendencies. “Honestly, as a…
WTF? Crazy Dalai Lama Claims War Crimes Are Purely a Matter of Context!
Everybody knows that unlike all the so-called “Abrahamic Religions” like Judaism, Christianity, Islam, Baha’i, Rastafarianism, etc., Buddhism is in a class of its own. But why? Obviously, because people belonging to all other religions have practiced patriarchy, homophobia, racism, and…
GOP End of Days Panic: Rick Perry Declares Himself the Anti-Reagan
The GOP is getting worried about outside infiltration and even supernatural omens, as rumor has it that Rick Perry has revealed himself to aides as the literal anti-Reagan. No need to worry about fire and brimstone, signs in the Heavens,…
Ideas Man Newt Gingrich Finally Solves Fiscal Responsibility Problem
The new Newt Gingrich is re-branding himself as the Ideas Man of the Republican Party, but this time he’s outdone even himself with an astonishingly innovative solution.
A Checklist Of The ‘Humanitarian Aid’ The Russians Are Sending To Ukraine
At the Russian/Ukrainian border the so-called ‘humanitarian aid’ convoy sent by Putin stops to do a final check on what supplies they will be delivering to the Ukrainians on the other side. Two Russian majors exit the first two vehicles…
Rand Paul Reaches Out To Dems, Promises Not to Ban “Washing-up” Agenda
Some Republicans view Rand Paul as a potentially divisive figure (i.e. one who will take some of their support away in critical demographics), but some of his opponents are actually impressed how he has built bridges with Democrats at cross-party…
Conservatives and Liberals Still Trying to Convert Each Other
WASHINGTON – A new poll of 1,000 American adults reveals that both conservatives and liberals believe it is possible to “convert” other people to change their political orientation. The recent Gallmausen poll found that more than 63% of Americans believe…
Rand and Rev. Al Share the Pie Equally, Dems & Reps Unimpressed!
Senator Rand Paul and Reverend Al Sharpton have shown some interparty solidarity and cut up a blueberry pie into equal slices at a dialogue and lunch event.
Coloradoans Now Even Bigger A**holes Since Start Of Legalized Pot
The wonder mellower-outer cannabis, always said to have a positive, tranquilizing affect on its users, has unfortunately not had such an effect on the normally ego-centered Coloradoans who recently legalized use of it. “Criminy,” said Jim Bames, over the road…
Hillary is Not Bad at Basketball… Period. But She WILL be President!
Rachel Maddow of the left-leaning news network MSNBC has defended Hillary Clinton from malicious and false conservative allegations that she is bad at basketball. See this transcript: