Kid Goes Cross-Eyed, Face Gets Stuck That Way

DERRY, NH—Despite repeated warnings from his parents, an area boy kept going cross-eyed, and now his face is stuck that way.

“We warned him,” stated Sheryl Mackey, the mother of the now handicapped-looking child. “We told him if he kept doing it his face would get stuck that way. And it did. Just like we said.”

“I didn’t believe them,” said downtrodden nine-year-old Greg Mackey, his eyeballs spastically twitching inward. “I thought they were just trying to scare me.” Read more Kid Goes Cross-Eyed, Face Gets Stuck That Way

Share

Important safety alert: The dangers of texting while breathing

In our increasingly technology-bound culture, cell phone use has exploded over the past decade. A recent report indicates there are now more cell phones in the USA than people, and three times more cell phone users than people who can locate the United States on a map of North America.

People use their cell phones to do all sorts of things – a few have even been known to use them to place phone calls. But mostly, people use their cell phones to text thought-provoking comments like Hey. Read more Important safety alert: The dangers of texting while breathing

Share

FDA Adds “Homicidal Rampage” Warning to Otherwise Perfectly Safe Drug

Washington DC: The Food and Drug Administration has announced an immediate black box warning will be placed on it’s controversial anti-malarial drug, Lariam, also known as Mefloquine, due to its tendency to make patients attempt murder, suicide, genocide and partake in other equally crazy and disturbing behavior after taking it. Read more FDA Adds “Homicidal Rampage” Warning to Otherwise Perfectly Safe Drug

Share

Humans Have Rights. Why Not Pets? (comic)

Just looking back in American history, there was a time (quite recently!) when women were denied the vote. There were also times with poll taxes and other efforts to disqualify votes, but only as recent as 2012.

Not to diminish those situations (nope, I welcome the discussion in the comments, because I’m with you,) but why not let pets have some right too? PETA would like to empower and respect the animals. They’re not wrong, frankly. Read more Humans Have Rights. Why Not Pets? (comic)

Share

Maybe the Mayans were right. Religious scholars say gay marriage a sign the end is near.

Experts in ancient Mayan culture recently prophesized that the world would come to a cataclysmic end in 2012, give or take a year or two. They based this on detailed interpretations of the ancient Mayan calendar.

Thanks to President Obama’s shocking revelation last year that he supports the rights of gays and lesbians to marry, these scholars now are even more convinced the Mayans were probably right, even if they were off by a couple years, arguing we’re in the final days before Homoggedon. Read more Maybe the Mayans were right. Religious scholars say gay marriage a sign the end is near.

Share

Study: Indoor Cats Also Present Owners w/ Gifts (comic)

Indoor/outdoor cats are famous for bringing back trophies to their owners. Maybe it’s a dead bird, a half-eaten squirrel, or just a random noun from the yard, like bark or a tattered bit of tennis ball.

A recent study has found that even cats living exclusively indoors can present prizes to their owners, but much like the assorted trash or carcii the outdoor tabbies deliver, it’s also far from welcome. Read more Study: Indoor Cats Also Present Owners w/ Gifts (comic)

Share

Group Stages Naked Protest Against Naked Protests

Todays Breaking News: a group of women from Latvia have launched a naked protest against the global outbreak of naked protests, I assure you there is a lot of information to go with this story, but right now I am finding it very ‘hard’ to concentrate.

The story is still developing, the protest has attracted a lot of spectators, but i am not sure they are very interested in the subject because most of them appear to be playing with something in their pockets. Read more Group Stages Naked Protest Against Naked Protests

Share