Month: March 2013
Sinead O’Connor Shreds Picture of Pope Benedict XVI, Everyone Cheers
Sinead O’Connor has been vindicated. The news of Pope Benedict XVI stepping down as head of the Vatican left a world stunned, but according to reports, Sinead O’Connor didn’t miss a beat. At a recent concert, she appeared on stage…
God Privately Admits He Doesn’t Have Plan for Disabled Boy
HEAVEN – Speaking off-the-record Friday, the Lord God privately admitted that he did not have a concrete plan for local disabled boy Dwight Bowers, who was born paralyzed from the waist down. Even though the excitable 6-year-old is routinely assured…
Obama Angry He “Can’t” Kill American Citizens
Members of the press core were violently ejected from the White House yesterday after President Obama went into a fit of rage over the fact that the Constitution prohibits him from killing innocent American citizens. “It’s not fair! My drone…
What Potheads, Bikers, and Taylor Swift Have in Common
New figures out indicate that blogs featuring pot, bikers, and Taylor Swift get the most hits and the most forum posts of any other, including porn, according to the Worldwide Association of Gossip Syndicate or WAGS. While Potheads and Pot…
YOLO Dead; As Are Most Adherents (Part 2)
We began our story yesterday on the dangers of the phrase YOLO! and what it’s meant to the dwindling number of America’s less intelligent youth who followed this belief. What happened to them? We’ll tell you later, but we’ll give…
Kim Jong Un Releases New Book: Daddy–The Tenderer Moments
PYONGYANG—Recently, Iron E-News was given the rare chance to attend a very special and exclusive book signing in an exotic, distant, and oft misunderstood place: the residential palaces in the heart of the DPRK. Kim Jong Un, the son of…
YOLO Demise Discovered; Most Adherents Deceased (Part 1)
YOLO, short for “you only live once”. Easily the “don’t worry, be happy” of 2011, is now gone, all but forgotten. But why is this phrase out of use? A recent study finds it’s because most who lived by it…
Letter to the editor: CBS, NBC, ABC & CNN are Democrat Networks
The following letter is in response to a story dated October, 21st of last year entitled Shepard Smith to Leave FOX News Over Harassment?. This mad gem comes to us from “Tim Pitchfork” from blah blah whatever. Tim Pitchford (Carmel,…