Year: 2012
Mysterious Robo Calls Hound Voters Days Before Election
Mysterious robo-calls have been plaguing American households in massive amounts these last few days of the build up to the Presidential election. Upon answering a heavily accented voice will announce “Love America or cleave it! Vote Hu Jintao for Plesident…
Netanyahu Declares Candidacy for U.S. President
GlossyNews.com – Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu today called a press conference to announce that he would accept the position of U.S. President, which he hoped would end the acrimony and divisiveness of the Romney-Obama rivalry for the office. Following…
Intense Negativity From Election Drama Create Huge Psychic Whirlwind In Atlantic
The generated heat created by battle between the two rivaling political parties vying for the U.S. Presidency has unleashed unforeseen consequences. The constant turbulence from partisan hatred, scandalous accusations, frictional debate and just plain pissedness has caused a massive psychic…
Alaska, All The Reasons Convicts Want To Live Here
Alaska is the land of pristine beauty, untouched by humankind, except for those dirty Russians, Sarah Palin, Exxon-Mobil, and the random arctic hillbilly hiding out from the federal government. But there are plenty of reasons to live here, and rather…
Protester Ousted for Using Capitalism-Made Product
A woman was removed from protest group Occupy after fellow member found out that she used commercial sanitary products. Mary Chambers was dishonorably dismissed from the group following an incident were her bag fell open and the contents fell to…
Taylor Hicks Shocked to Hear Taylor Hicks on the Radio
Erstwhile American Idol victor Taylor Hicks was shopping Thursday in a Ralph’s, a supermarket owned by the Kroger company, when he heard something come over the PA that shocked him; a Taylor Hicks song. “I heard it and I was…
Children’s Museum Launches Terrifying ‘Texas Chainsaw Massacre’ Exhibit
INDIANAPOLIS – Ahead of its busy Halloween season this month, The Children’s Museum of Indianapolis today piloted a terrifying exhibit in which children were subjected to re-enacted scenes from the movie The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Offering families a special $5…
Psychic Doesn’t See Police Coming
Police have issued a statement confirming the arrest of a crystal ball reader in California. Known only as Mystic Mary Star Moon Shine Peters, the crystal ball reader was believed to have been arrested on charges of ‘false prediction’. Mystic…
Republican Whose Home Destroyed by Hurricane Sandy Reluctantly Accepts Gov Handout
STAMFORD, CT – In the aftermath of one of the worst storms to batter the East Coast of the United States in recorded history, a Republican man whose lakeside house was left with almost $1.7-million-worth of damage at the hands…
Barack Obama Asks for Your Vote… For Mitt Romney
By President Barack Obama My fellow Americans, Next Tuesday, November 6, is Election Day, and this year your vote is more important than ever before. That’s because in this election you have a choice between two very different visions for…