Mysterious Robo Calls Hound Voters Days Before Election

Mysterious robo-calls have been plaguing American households in massive amounts these last few days of the build up to the Presidential election.

Upon answering a heavily accented voice will announce “Love America or cleave it! Vote Hu Jintao for Plesident of USA! Remember- write in!”

or “Hu Jintao good for America! Make it more Capitalist!”

or “Remember- forenners build USA! Make forenner new Plesident!”

or “Be good to USA! Get Hu Jintao new Plesident! Will reunite America by force if need be!”

An undisclosed donor has paid a massive amount for these ads. Present Federal law allows the donor’s identity to remain secret. So far both the FBI and the CIA are stymied as to where the mysterious ads are coming from, but promise further research at taxpayer expense, plus a $200 a day stipend for food, booze and lap dancers.