Month: October 2012
Romney Handily Handled in Second Debate, Cries Foul
The second presidential debate is in the history books, and unlike the empty chair present at the RNC and the first debate, Obama came out swinging and made Governor Mitt Romney look like nothing but a third rate amateur… so…
Romney Threatens to Fire Crowley, Crowd, and China
VILLAGE OF HAMPSTEAD, NEW YORK- The second presidential debate was the scene of chaos as Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney threatened to fire the moderator, debate participants, and an entire nation on Tuesday night. Mitt Romney suffered a severe short…
God Puts Global Warming on Hold for A Few Days
INDIANAPOLIS – As temperatures dropped Tuesday to a low of 39° F across the Midwest, God announced that global warming will be put on hold for a few days, while he just tests out a few things. Eager to continue…
Ayn Rand Based Movie Atlas Shrugged: Part 2 – We All Shrugged
Today I spent my afternoon at the movies, if you can call them that. I had what can only be described as a hopefully forgetful afternoon viewing one of the most horrific movies that has come out this year, or…
Omphaloskepsistic Guitar Soloist’s Shameful Arrest
A man was arrested by police in the small hours of yesterday night after an angry woman made a call to the emergency services from a bar just outside the suburbs of New York. Police were called to the scene…
Paul Ryan: ‘Must Not Look Weak, Must Not Look Weak’
KENTUCKY – Following his televised debate with Vice President Joe Biden Thursday, Mitt Romney’s running mate Paul Ryan insisted: “must not look weak, must not look weak, must not look weak.” Adopting a serious tone during post-debate festivities, the 42-year-old…
Researchers Find Link Between Childhood Obesity; Calories
Obesity researchers at John Hopkins University claim they have discovered a causal link between childhood obesity and the consumption of excess calories. “We won’t know for certain until all the data is in”, said lead researcher John Pell. “But our…
Ex-Nazi Guard on Trial for 29,999 Murders Expresses Regrets
Selvoka, Poland-(SatireWorld.com) Former Ukranian concentration camp guard John Demjicunk’s trial ended today with a guilty verdict for the murders committed when he served as a Nazi death camp guard in German occupied Russia during WWII. Earning the title ‘Ivan the…
Apple/Reddit Lawsuit: Biden Too Good for Kitty PrAwN$?
Apple today filed suit against the popular user community site Reddit over the use of a picture of Joe Biden during the vice-presidential debate. Apple believes that they were first to claim use of the image as the logo for…
Hover Cars Will Not Help Us
Scientists have warned that placing too many emphases on hover cars may confuse car owners. In an open letter to the car industry, a group of prestigious scientists from a variety of disciplines warn that if the car industry continues…