Month: February 2011
Christina Aguilera Leads Fight to Change America’s National Anthem
Christina Aguilera has had enough of the criticism for her flubbing the Star-Spangled Banner during this year’s Super Bowl. She claims that only a handful of Americans actually know all the words to the ‘incredibly difficult and outdated’ song and…
Strong Solar Flare Activity May Cause Rare Moonburn Events across Globe
A space scientist at the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) has issued a warning in association with the current solar flare activity on the sun’s surface. Edmund P. Rank, a scientist at NASA’s Solar Dynamics Observatory claims that within…
Spider-Man Musical Grounded by NY Labor Department
When “Spider-Man-Turn Off the Dark” premieres on March 15, there will be one change that is readily apparent to the audience. Spider-Man won’t be doing much more than walking or crawling. Spinning a web, flying across the stage, and climbing…
Cockfighting Bill Nears Passage
Posted by your South America correspondents, Maria and Consuela Lopez. First we want to remind you. Glossy News told you President Obama would ease travel restrictions to Cuba so it can become a new Spring break destination for hordes of…
Medical Marijuana Cafes Designated Smoke-Free Zones in California
For a few years now, medical marijuana cafes have been springing up in states like California, Colorado and Oregon to give users of medical marijuana safe havens to self-medicate themselves for various ailments. The cafes have jumped many hurdles to…
Komodo Dragon Genome Escapes from Computer Lab
Austin, Tex. — An entire Komodo Dragon genome has reportedly got loose from a MySQL database at Infinite Loop Biological Research Co. in Austin, Tex. and is already starting to breed and reproduce itself in computers and computer networks worldwide….
Professional Sport Career Allows Man to Enjoy Data Entry Hobby
Local man, Clive McNeish, revealed today how fortunate he feels being paid a reasonable annual salary for just two hours work a week as a professional squash player. This leaves a full 38 hours a week free for McNeish to…
Nation Shocked as Socialists Win The Super Bowl
A nation reels in shock as it realizes that Socialists have won the beloved American institution called the Super Bowl. Beating the genuinely capitalistic Pittsburgh Steelers by a 31 to 24 margin, the Green Bay Packers won the game that…
Crazy Woman Buys AOL for Fair Market Value: Negative $315 Million
It’s already being called the deal of the century, and there are still eighty-nine years to go. Liberal news aggregator and alleged Gabor sister Arianna Huffington now owns AOL. Media watchers are at a loss to explain what happened or…
Mid-West Unrest Erupts
Authorities have now surrendered hope that blizzard conditions would dissuade the tens of thousands now holding candle light vigils in Cleveland, Ohio. The protesters stand defiant in the face of wind chill factors that would make a polar bear cuss…