Posted in News In Your Briefs

Bush Refuses To Attend Global Leadership Summit

Bush the 2nd refuses to go to a Global Leadership Summit because he doesn’t want to be at an event that would invite someone who would do willful harm to the interests of the U.S., i.e. Julian Assange. In a…

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Posted in Religionism

Micro-Religions Gain Market Share to Chagrin of Mega-Churches

This year’s Nielsen Prayer Ratings, considered an important indicator of sociological trends, put numbers to anticipated demographic shifts, yet contained surprises too. While “Please don’t let her be pregnant” prayers showed expected growth among males 18-25, the 2011 NPR garnered…

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Posted in Science & Technologizzy

The Role of Facebook and Twitter in History’s Revolutions

There’s been a lot of debate recently over the role social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter played in the recent Egyptian uprising, however very little has been mentioned of their importance in history’s other great revolutions. This report chronicles…

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Posted in News In Your Briefs

Craigslist Congressman says photo was actually for new P90X ad

Backpeddling from his resignation over the recent photo scandal, former Rep. Christopher Lee now says the picture was meant to show off his results from using P90X, but accidentally got e-mailed to the “Women Seeking Men” forum on Craigslist. “What…

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Posted in Kidz Zone Science & Technologizzy

Computer Beats Kids at Candy Land… Holy Terrorbytes, Batman

IBM is at it again, but this time their target for domination isn’t aimed at nerdy trivia buffs or intimidating chess masters. No, its electronic jaws are now chomping at the bit to take a megabyte out of sweet innocent…

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Posted in Politics

National Tea Party Unwittingly Aligns Itself with California Pot Growers Association

An unlikely partnership has formed between some very conservative-thinking patriots and a group of stoners who could care less about any politics unless, of course, they involve the legalization of marijuana. How it happened, no one is really certain, but…

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc

Rumsfeld Book Tour: Rocky Start

Former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld was often the center of controversy during decades of public service. It appears that tradition will continue in his new career as author. Rumsfeld’s recently released 800 page memoir “Known and Unknown” has set the…

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Posted in Politics Top Stories

Cheney Comes Out in Support of Mubarak

An American dictator comes out in support of a buddy dictator which is an indication that there must be a strong social network of dictators that many don’t know about. Just like Hitler being bosom buddies with Mussolini, Franco and…

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Posted in Strange People

Bigfoot Activity Heightened During Solar Flare Event

Mt. Clemens, MICHIGAN – The city of Mt. Clemens, Michigan is once again in the news for Bigfoot sightings as it seems that several citizens have phoned the local police station claiming to have witnessed what they believe are large,…

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Posted in Biz News

Man Loses Job for Confusing ASS with ELBO

Local man Dean Davis was dismissed from his position of press officer at Drudge Corp yesterday for mixing up his company acronyms. Davis explained that in the middle of an important business meeting he congratulated a senior colleague on having…

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Posted in Entertainment Music

Christina Aguilera Leads Fight to Change America’s National Anthem

Christina Aguilera has had enough of the criticism for her flubbing the Star-Spangled Banner during this year’s Super Bowl. She claims that only a handful of Americans actually know all the words to the ‘incredibly difficult and outdated’ song and…

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Posted in Environment Science & Technologizzy

Strong Solar Flare Activity May Cause Rare Moonburn Events across Globe

A space scientist at the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) has issued a warning in association with the current solar flare activity on the sun’s surface. Edmund P. Rank, a scientist at NASA’s Solar Dynamics Observatory claims that within…

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip Entertainment

Spider-Man Musical Grounded by NY Labor Department

When “Spider-Man-Turn Off the Dark” premieres on March 15, there will be one change that is readily apparent to the audience. Spider-Man won’t be doing much more than walking or crawling. Spinning a web, flying across the stage, and climbing…

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Posted in Human Interest

Cockfighting Bill Nears Passage

Posted by your South America correspondents, Maria and Consuela Lopez. First we want to remind you. Glossy News told you President Obama would ease travel restrictions to Cuba so it can become a new Spring break destination for hordes of…

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Posted in Health

Medical Marijuana Cafes Designated Smoke-Free Zones in California

For a few years now, medical marijuana cafes have been springing up in states like California, Colorado and Oregon to give users of medical marijuana safe havens to self-medicate themselves for various ailments. The cafes have jumped many hurdles to…

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Posted in Science

Komodo Dragon Genome Escapes from Computer Lab

Austin, Tex. — An entire Komodo Dragon genome has reportedly got loose from a MySQL database at Infinite Loop Biological Research Co. in Austin, Tex. and is already starting to breed and reproduce itself in computers and computer networks worldwide….

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Posted in Human Interest Sports

Professional Sport Career Allows Man to Enjoy Data Entry Hobby

Local man, Clive McNeish, revealed today how fortunate he feels being paid a reasonable annual salary for just two hours work a week as a professional squash player. This leaves a full 38 hours a week free for McNeish to…

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Posted in Sports

Nation Shocked as Socialists Win The Super Bowl

A nation reels in shock as it realizes that Socialists have won the beloved American institution called the Super Bowl. Beating the genuinely capitalistic Pittsburgh Steelers by a 31 to 24 margin, the Green Bay Packers won the game that…

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc

Crazy Woman Buys AOL for Fair Market Value: Negative $315 Million

It’s already being called the deal of the century, and there are still eighty-nine years to go. Liberal news aggregator and alleged Gabor sister Arianna Huffington now owns AOL. Media watchers are at a loss to explain what happened or…

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Posted in World News

Mid-West Unrest Erupts

Authorities have now surrendered hope that blizzard conditions would dissuade the tens of thousands now holding candle light vigils in Cleveland, Ohio. The protesters stand defiant in the face of wind chill factors that would make a polar bear cuss…

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Posted in Entertainment Politics

O’Reilly, Obama Find Common Ground; Glenn Beck is Nuts

President Obama sat down with Fox News Show host Bill O’Reilly in a rare and candid interview that touched on everything from the unrest in Egypt and how it should be handled, the economy and how to achieve a more…

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip Human Interest

Barbie Enters Her 50s: Danger – Cougar Alert

Barbie doll is now well into her 50’s. She sure doesn’t look it. She looks like she’s either discovered the Fountain of Youth or had her whole body Botoxed. Of course it helps when you get all your plastic surgery…

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc Human Interest

Art You Don’t Want Your Kids Doing For Show & Tell

Being an ‘artiste’ is not an easy thing. At a book store I saw salmon print art that someone made by inking the side of a fish and pressing it to paper making a beautiful wall motive. I thought to…

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Posted in Serious Commentary

R.E.S.P.E.C.T. Aretha Sang It, Obama Shows It

For all you can say for or against Barack Obama as President, there is one huge thing can be said in his favor. He has returned a forgotten key ingredient of crucial diplomatic etiquette to the forefront and that is…

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Posted in News In Your Briefs

After Decade of “Free” Posts, Ariana Walks w/ 3rd of Billion

Pundits, politicians and celebrity bloggers ask, “where’s my friggen money, bitch?” to Ariana Huffington, After years and years of contributing free posts to the political-celebrity site “Huffington Post”, Ariana Huffington has sold out to the very belly of the beast,…

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