Mid-West Unrest Erupts

Authorities have now surrendered hope that blizzard conditions would dissuade the tens of thousands now holding candle light vigils in Cleveland, Ohio. The protesters stand defiant in the face of wind chill factors that would make a polar bear cuss his momma.

Apparently inspired by recent events in Egypt, people have taken to the streets of this teeming metropolis, their ranks increased by seemingly ordinary citizens who’ve traveled great distances to join in this historic moment. They want KISS in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.

This reporter is unable to describe the assemblage gathered in the streets of Cleveland, or what force it is that compels them to stand against the wind, like a rock. Some of them are a little too tall, could use a few pounds.

Others seem caught up in the energy of this ‘people’s revolution’ and perhaps are merely joyful to get out of Denver, or whatever far flung towns they resided in before hearing the clarion call. One thing is certain; as this frigid night moves, it heralds a new respect for KISS, and a casting off of old paradigms.

Chicago, IL convenience store clerk and lifelong KISS fan David Davidson seemed to encapsulate this groundswell of indignation as he explained his motivations to Glossy News.

“Man, they got James Taylor in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, did you know that? James Taylor. Somebody has to take this corrupt regime down; they’ve done enough damage. It’s like Cromwell said to Parliament about ‘depart, and let us be done with you.’ James Taylor for the love of God, but KISS isn’t in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame? This might be our last chance to keep Captain & Tennille from being inducted. I don’t know man, I just don’t know. But I have to try.”

The crowd grows larger every hour. The light of candles stretches into the snowy horizon and beyond. Their mood is jubilant and festive, but that could change at any moment.

Cleveland Mayor Frank Jackson has already resigned. He says he’s going to Katmandu.

Author: Liberties-Taken

I write gags for Glossy News when an idea pops into my pumpkin sized head. Don't make a big deal out of it, OK? I contribute to my local food pantry and you should too.

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