Month: September 2010
Suicide Bomber Surprise – Few of 72 Virgins Young or Women
TEHRAN, Iran – Future suicide bombers around the globe woke up with a jolt today, when they realized they faced a surprising religious announcement from a leading Iranian cleric. No, it wasn’t the sound of their vests exploding, but it…
High School Senior 2 Gay 2 B Remembered
Posted by your South America correspondents, Maria and Consuela Lopez. Sex is a private matter, except for performance artists employed in the adult entertainment sector, who are generally really nice people. Except for Diane; she was a real bitch. Oh,…
Woman Gives Self Face Lift Using a Simple Hammer & Hand Mirror
At 52 years old and recently divorced, Hog Jaw’s own Elsie Piebottom was feeling the sags and wrinkles of years of an outdoor lifestyle. A face lift was her dream and she did inquire with several top-notch surgeons about a…
Rwandan General Killed Millions, Accepted Christ, Welcomed to Heaven
Due to what some non-theists like to call a “gaping hole in theism”, General Mbutu Ngariao, perhaps best known as the Rape General, third in command during the Rwandan genocide, has been able to eleventh-hour-apologize and slip his way into…
Taylor Swift, Kanye West to Reignite Feud in New MTV Series
Taylor Swift and Kanye West will fight another day, this time on MTV’s newest greenlit show, Taylor versus Kanye. The 13 episode series, scheduled to premiere in January, will see the two artists in head-to-head competition every episode. The series…
Christine O’Donnell Not Happy About Fielding Witch Jokes
When Christine O’Donnell of Delaware won the election to run for a United States Senate seat on the GOP ticket, she was all smiles, but it didn’t take long for the bones in her closet to start rattling. The biggest…
O’Donnell Win Shortens Rove’s Political Penis Length
SKYPE DELAWARE — GlossyNews.com – Speaking on a Skype interview with Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly, Karl Rove was intent on answering the question “What does her decisive victory say about your own political abilities? You’ve been quoted as saying she…
Infamous Miley Cyrus ‘Up Skirt’ Photo to Appear on Postage Stamp
The US Postal Service Postmaster General, Melvis P. Phelps, introduced the new Miley Cyrus Upskirt Postage Stamp to a mostly stunned and open mouthed crowd of reporters. Over the hushed crowd, he immediately tried to explain the importance of bringing…
Newlywed Husband Uses Scripture to Write-Off Premature Performance
Jason Margwalter, or Talahasee, Florida, recently wed his highschool sweetheart. Since both of them had saved themselves for marriage, allegedly, they had high expectations for their wedding night. Not all went quite to plan, according to new bride Nichole, but…
Lost WWII Japanese Battalion Found Still Huddled in Trenches
Manila, Philippines – Back pay mathematics is going to be a real tough chore for the Japanese Army to estimate in the next few months. Especially for the 134 men who’ve been on continuous combat duty in the mountains of…