SKYPE DELAWARE — GlossyNews.com – Speaking on a Skype interview with Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly, Karl Rove was intent on answering the question “What does her decisive victory say about your own political abilities? You’ve been quoted as saying she can’t win the November general. Then your quote/unquote nutty things don’t add up comment. Come clean here Karl, have you lost your sense of direction?”
“No Bill, I haven’t. And you, of all people here, know that I am still the BMOC in the politics department. I am still what everyone sets their political metre against. I am always going to be the measure.”
Bill challenged, “I have a statement here from O’Donnell. She says that, ‘[He] said I would not win the primary. His credibility is shot. His pride is hurt.’ Now is that true? Your pride is hurt?”
“Bill, Bill, Bill-o”, Rove smiled wanely, “I stand by what I said, what I predicted about the Delaware race. I said that this will be costly for the Republicans. And it already is. The party has had to pump an additional $42K to her, on top of the buckets of cash already paid out to Castle’s benefit.”
Bill again, “So was O’Donnell right when she said that her situation is the same as Reagan’s?”
“Absolutely not! That’s absurd,” yelled Rove. “I knew Ronnie, and she’s no Ronnie! She may come across as having grown a big pair right now, but that’s a house of cards. Everyone knows that Ronnie walked the biggest pair around the party in his day. Nancy made sure of that.”
Bill again. “Since you opened the sex bag, what is up with all this masturbation being adultery logic?”
“Well Bill, my man,” began a recomposed Rove, “This is the nutty stuff I was referring to in my comments. Seems O’Donnell feels that the country is oversexed and that everyone is trying to get it off all over the planet. She’s been on a college based rant for a while about co-ed dorm life complete with orgy rooms and co-ed showers and toilets. This masturbation theory of hers began with her west coast SALT group. She says that her Bible says that lust = masturbation = adultery.”
“OK Karl, that’s about all the time we have here today. I do have one final question or comment or what ever you want to call it.”
“Shoot.”
“Her final comment about the GOP is ‘…the party establishment died last night.’ Is this what you think happened, Karl?”
“Of course not, Bill,” began Rove, again looking comfortable with a smile. “At the end of the day, what happened in Delaware will stay in Delaware. A fluke is what happened. It hasn’t happened before and it’s not going to happen again. Trust me.”
“You’re sure about that Karl? Even considering Utah, Nevada, Alaska? What about The Palin Landslide?” asked Bill.
“Trust me on this, Bill. It’s the Delaware Fluke. The Palin Landslide is really a Palin LuckyGuess. You know that I am still the BMOC in the politics department. I am still what everyone sets their political metre against. I am always going to be the measure. I never come up short.”
I love it when Rove spanks his monkey.