The US Postal Service Postmaster General, Melvis P. Phelps, introduced the new Miley Cyrus Upskirt Postage Stamp to a mostly stunned and open mouthed crowd of reporters. Over the hushed crowd, he immediately tried to explain the importance of bringing newer, more youthful stamp collectors and users into the US Postal system.
“Look folks, with the newer generations of consumers, we have to try to approach things on their terms. They like seeing their movie actors and singing stars look like sluts, right?”
Citing sales figures that showed a significant slump, while internet usage has skyrocketed in recent years, Phelps stated, that with the introduction of the semi-nude singer who’s buck-ass naked beneath a mini dress, the stamp will increase sales and allow the Postal Service to limit future postage costs to consumers.
He also added that the sixty-nine cent stamp was appropriately priced and thought the $.69 pricing had a little sophomoric humor in it.
“In our future, we see Lady Gaga stamps, Christina Aguilera shipping cartons, and probably plenty of Barack Obama red tape too!”
Phelps discounted the rumor that the Miley Stamp will only be available in the lickable format and that the dry glue backing was tuna flavored.