Posted in Religionism

Mix-up in Hell Has Satan Sending More than One Anti-Christ to Earth

HOLLISTER, California (GLossyNews) — Satan is said to be madder than hell at his minions this week after he learned that more than one, and possibly as many as eight Anti-Christs have been unleashed upon the Earth during the past…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Mix-up in Hell Has Satan Sending More than One Anti-Christ to Earth
Posted in Politics

Sen. Byrd’s Death Ruled Bizarre Act of Self Mutilation

WASHINGTON, D.C. (GlossyNews) — West Virginia Sen. Robert Carlyle Byrd, the longest-serving member of Congress and the self-educated son of a coal miner, died Monday at age 92. Byrd was born Cornelius Calvin Sale Jr. on November 20, 1917, in…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Sen. Byrd’s Death Ruled Bizarre Act of Self Mutilation
Posted in Crime

Tragedy Blamed on Mistaken Identity

TORONTO, Ontario (GlossyNews) RCMP District Superintendent Dudley Pemberton spoke to reporters today in the wake of what’s being called ‘the Toronto atrocity.’ “First, I want to say we tried to do right. All of you who snidely imply otherwise, you…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Tragedy Blamed on Mistaken Identity
Posted in Politics

Palin Stops Short of Referring to Self as Martyr (Barely)

TURLOCK, Calif. (GlossyNews) — In yet another controversial appearance of Sarah Palin, this time at the California State University, Stanislaus campus, Sarah complained of how her message is being met with the same controversy over and over–that she is undeserving…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Palin Stops Short of Referring to Self as Martyr (Barely)
Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos

Angry Customer returns I-Phone

CORNUCOPIA, California (GlossyNews) — Tech stocks are expected to open sharply lower tomorrow in reaction to the disturbing news from England. While it initially seemed Apple’s latest version of the I-phone was another unqualified triumph, hopes are now quickly fading….

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Angry Customer returns I-Phone
Posted in Entertainment

Miley Cyrus Posts Topless Photos

HOLLYWOODLAND, California (GlossyNews) — Tween idol Miley Cyrus has once again shocked and baffled her fans and detractors this morning by allowing even more shocking and revealing pictures to be posted to the internet. Some of the pictures are obviously…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Miley Cyrus Posts Topless Photos
Posted in Biz News Environment

BP Creates Culinary Division to Sell Turtle Meat

CHALMETTE, Louisiana (GlossyNews) — Add abysmal stock prices to the $20 billion escrow fund and BP’s existing $2.35 billion clean up tab, and you begin to realize how quickly deep pockets grow shallow. The Deep Horizon oil spill in the…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! BP Creates Culinary Division to Sell Turtle Meat
Posted in Celebrity Gossip

Miley Cyrus Keynote Speaker at Exhibitionists’ Convention

SAN FRANCISCO, Kalifornia (GlossyNews) — Underage puddy cat queen, Miley Cyrus, who stunned her ‘tween fans by climbing out of a convertible in front of hundreds of paparazzi wearing a skin-tight mini dress with no underwear, is keynote speaker at…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Miley Cyrus Keynote Speaker at Exhibitionists’ Convention
Posted in Religionism

Catholic Church Finds Innocent Priest, Excommunicates Him

CASTRO STREET, San Fransisco, CA (GlossyNews) — The Catholic Church revealed Saturday morning that they had found one priest in Renton, Washington, whom, they say, has never committed any act of abuse or possibly any sin during his tenure as…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Catholic Church Finds Innocent Priest, Excommunicates Him
Posted in Top Stories

Teenager Asked for ID to Buy Whipped Cream

ATLANTA, Ga. (GlossyNews) — When a new product comes to market, it doesn’t take long for the younger crowd to scope it out and try to scoop it up, especially when that new product contains alcohol. Such is the case…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Teenager Asked for ID to Buy Whipped Cream