Month: June 2010
Cuban Refugee Dredged from Oil Slick, Cleaned, Deported
GRAND ISLE, La.-A team of marine biologists recovered 120 specimens from the rapidly spreading oil spill off the coast of Louisiana Wednesday.
The team, comprised of staff and students from several Gulf Coast universities, volunteered to assist clean-up efforts while studying environmental impacts. While cleaning feathers and fur with dish detergent, Anne Fullerton, a student at Southern University in Baton Rouge, discovered what turned out to be a Mexican attempting to enter the U.S. illegally.
Miley Cyrus: My Vagina Now More Popular than Jesus
NASHVILLE, Tenn. (GlossyNews) — After blowing the top off the entertainment world by exposing her bottom, a la Britney Spears, Miley Cyrus has come up with another stunner to draw media attention to herself, a la John Lennon: she claims…
Dick Cheney to Form GOP Apology Task Force
WASHINGTON, D.C. (GlossyNews) — Texas Representative Joe Barton’s strange apology to BP CEO Tony Hayward for the government imposed $20 billion escrow account to repay damages caused by the Deep Horizon oil spill continues to spark controversy. The ill-fated gaffe…
Satan is Suing His Insurance Company
Posted by your South America correspondents, Maria and Consuela Lopez. This guy claiming to be the Devil phones and asks that we interview him. Turns out Satan doesn’t look a bit like I imagined. He’s kinda hot really. He looks…
Four North Korean Soccer Players Missing, More to Follow
DURBAN, South Africa (GlossyNews) — Four players on the North Korean Soccer Team have gone missing. They were unaccounted for on Friday when they failed to show up for practice. Rumors are swirling that the missing team members have defected…
US Declares Entire Gulf of Mexico a US Oil Reserve
WASHINGTON D.C. (GlossyNews) — The U.S. today decreed the Gulf of Mexico should be made into the Southern National Petroleum Reserve and should fall under the jurisdiction of the U.S. Military. Much like the little known National Petroleum Reserve that…
CBS Announces New Reality Show Will ‘Buy American’
LOS ANGELES, California (GlossyNews) The producer of TV’s popular “Amazing Race” today revealed expansion plans for the profitable franchise. Speaking from Malibu’s exclusive ‘Psst, You can smoke in here’ Bistro, Lane Fontana wowed reporters. His remarks were also well received…
Monkeys Replace Humans as Referees for World Cup 2010
Durban, South Africa – After many complaints about the poor calls being made by the referees hired to service the World Cup 2010 soccer matches, FIFA officials have decided to hire trained monkeys to referee the remaining games. Said one…