Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc

Second Dumbest Man on Earth Ghost Writes Bush Memoir

Odessa, TX (GlossyNews) — Larry Kones, known as the Second Dumbest Man on Earth, has completed the memoir of the presidency of George W. Bush…

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Posted in Health

Woman Sheds 42 Pounds Doing Shopping Cart Cha-Cha

Dallas, TX (GlossyNews) — A new exercise craze is sweeping America by storm. It’s not Pilates, it’s not aerobics, or any number of other workout…

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Posted in Society

Arizona Gold Strike Rumored

Tucson, AZ (GlossyNews) — The mood was buoyant at this week’s Tucson Chamber of Commerce meeting. COC director Blaine Dillray addressed the recent astronomical increase…

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Posted in Making Headlines

Elmer Fudd Named New Conservative Spokesperson

Who else can totally get away with referring to Republicans as the ‘White Wing?’

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Posted in News In Your Briefs

Native Americans in Arizona Vow to Deport All Non-Native Americans

Navajo Nation – The Navajo, Hopi, all Apache Nations and all other Native Americans who presently reside in Arizona have joined forces in an effort…

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Posted in Biz News Politics

Former Hollister Co. Executive Shot Dead by Arizona Police

NOGALES, AZ (GlossyNews) — The Southern California headquarters of Abercrombie & Fitch, which owns the Hollister brand, issued a statement today confirming the death of…

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Posted in Television

Comedy Central Censors Own Press Release About South Park Censoring

Dothan, Al (GlossyNews) — After a week of controversy surrounding the censorship of an episode of the animated series South Park for mentioning the Prophet Muhammad, Comedy Central announced…

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Posted in News In Your Briefs

Male Bonding Imbroglio Leads to Tragic Tussle with Transvestite

New Orleans, LA (GlossyNews) –A male bonding imbroglio has landed two fraternity boys in the clink for attacking a transvestite who stopped to ask them…

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Posted in Biz News

Goldman Sachs Can’t Eliminate Mysterious Odor of Dirty Rats

New York, NY (GlossyNews) –The area around the offices of Goldman Sachs in New York City and New Jersey are void of pedestrian and vehicular…

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip

Kim Kardashian Opts for Butt Lift after Butt Pad Malfunctions

Sydney, Australia – An embarrassed Kim Kardashian was in tears last week due to a major malfunction of one of the silicone butt pads she…

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