Posted in Making Headlines The Rest

Huffington Post Honors Rush Limbaugh

with Mother of the Year award.

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Religionism

God Is Definitely Gay: Says Dutch Sexpert

Utrecht, Holland (GlossyNews) — At the risk of raising the ire of religious straight people worldwide, Barend Hardwinkel, Gay Sexpert from Amsterdam, Netherlands has written in his new book, Move Over, Mary, that, “Yes, God is definitely gay.“ In an…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Celebrity Gossip Television

Secret Murdoch Tapes Threaten to Expose Palin and Beck as Puppets

At Sea, South Pacific (GlossyNews) — Rumors are swirling in back alleys and executive washrooms about the handful of tapes that, if made public, could blow the lid off Rupert Murdoch’s hold on American politics, bringing Sarah Palin, Glenn Beck,…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in News In Your Briefs

Status Update: Brian White Rejected from Harvard

[Ed Note: This story was originally run on Monday April 12, but we inadvertently left out all of the nouns.] Boston, Mass (GlossyNews) In sad and disappointing news this morning, Glossy News publisher Brian White was informed by officials at…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Religionism

Middle School Students Elect New Jesus Figure

Russetville, KY (GlossyNews) — Voting with their fists, the students of Dick Armey Middle School in Russetville, Kentucky have elected Denny Flutcher their Jesus Figure. The results of the one-sided election were obvious last afternoon, when Jesus figure runner-up, Leo…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Celebrity Gossip Television

Glenn Beck Found Naked, Confused Wandering Along Highway

New Canaan, Connecticut – Fox Television and radio personality, Glenn Beck was found wandering along Merritt Parkway close to his home in New Canaan, Connecticut early Thursday morning around 2 a.m. He was naked and confused and muttering “don’t freakin’…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Sports

Lawyers Clash in Gay Purity Case

Las Vegas, NV (GlossyGaySports) Legal scholars hint that far reaching precedent may be the outcome of Dan Steele vs. Gay Bowling League America, set for opening arguments next week. At issue is GBLA’s stripping Steele of his 2009 championship, but…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Entertainment

Magician Makes Rape Charges Disappear

Bellevue, WA (GlossyNews) — Mega-famous showman and Illusionist Oliver Twist has done it again. Known for both traditional stage magic and his signature landmark disappearance performances, Twist this week displayed his mastery of the craft by making a Civil Suit…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Society

Order Restored After Outbreak of Hypochondria

New Glarus, WI (GlossyNews) — Normalcy has returned to this Midwestern town, after a tense weekend some won’t forget. According to sources, trouble began when Insurance salesman Howard Sprague left work with a bad cold on Thursday. Flora Baker, owner…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Making Headlines

British Petroleum Celebrates Earth Day with Huge Oil Spill

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Politics

Democrats Turn to Religion to Pray for Palin’s Demise

San Francisco, CA (GlossyNews) — “I never thought I would pray for somebody to flat-out die,“ said liberal turned Christian, Marty Hayes. “But I’ve been praying hard for this one. I can’t stand to hear Palin’s voice, it sounds like…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in News In Your Briefs

The ‘Lady Who Does That’ Suddenly Quits — Creating Office Chaos

Carla Waters, known around the office as “The Lady Who Does That,” is really not there today. Her departure has created mass confusion and outright hysteria among the customer service department of Bulger, Inc. Waters, who worked for Bulger for…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Serious Commentary

Gough Whitlam — The Australian Obama?

Sydney, NSW, Australia (GlossyNews) — President Obama would do well to try to emulate the successes that former Australian Prime Minister Gough Whitlam had in his first 100 days of office back in 1972. He ended the draft and removed…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Human Interest

Fellas, Check Those Tattoos, Chinese May Have Last Laugh

More and more stories are coming out of small tattoo parlors in every Chinatown from New York to San Francisco about authentic Chinese tattoo artists who have recently decided to have a little fun with what they perceive as the…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!