The current contenders for the 2012 U.S. presidential election have already stated their positions on a range of key issues such as the economy, taxes, education, immigration, social policy, and national security.

But one obvious question still remains. What are they like in bed?

GlossyNews recently lay down with each of the candidates for some unbridled, no-holds-barred sexual intercourse. Here’s what they had to say. Read the full story

At some point in every parent’s life, there comes a time when they must explain that very fundamental but mysterious and appealing fact of life to their offspring–the sex act.

(Image courtesy of the brilliant folks at SaintGasoline.com.)

Not an easy task for anyone, including our neighbors around the world. Let’s take a look at how other nationalities, races, cultures and religions handle this most difficult of subjects to discuss with your young ones. Read the full story

Cyril Knowles 52, of Wembley is a happily married man. Yet he shares his modest home with 240 sex dolls of all shapes, sizes and colors.

Strangely, Mrs Knowles helps him to dress and undress his silicone legion, and even takes them for trips out in the family car.

Cyril claims that his unusual “hobby” started when he bought a rag doll for a favorite niece, and found himself inexplicably attracted to it. Read the full story

A recent study has concluded that male Cape ground squirrels have a reason for being one of the most prolific wanking species on the planet. They are ensuring the healthiness of their privates.

One has to wonder if these study results had been around during the time the United States was purposefully infecting poor unwitting Guatemalans with STD’s in the 1940’s, if there ever would have been such a horrendous truth coming to light today.

What the Cape ground squirrel study was all about Read the full story

ANN ARBOR, Michigan (GlossyNews) — The hare lip on 50 year old Mavis Blakely’s face was very large and the sight of it scared many eligible suitors away from her in her lifetime. Many thought it prevented her from living an otherwise normal life. But Mavis claims it has helped greatly in other ways…

“Through the years I’ve saved over 300 innocent lives by preventing very drunk guys from driving home after the bars close,” claims Mavis. Her gestures with a lit cigarette left trails of smoke rings around her red hair, as her eyes flitted around the dim bar. Read the full story

Webster’s Dictionary recently added a new phrase that pretty much sums up the problems facing the Democratic Party today as the important mid-term elections roll ever closer. Eloquently said, the new phrase has captured the imagination of conservative pundits as the predominate adjective used most often on television to describe the situation with the left. Read the full story

PORTLAND, Oregon (GlossyNews) — Police in Portland, Oregon are reopening their investigation into allegations that Al Gore groped and forced himself onto a masseuse at a local hotel in 2006. While not much has been made public about that incident, the one piece of information that continues to come up in news reports is the fact that the masseuse described Gore’s behavior as “acting like a crazed poodle.” Read the full story

BALLSTON, Virginia (GlossyNews) — Mired amid controversy of alleged infidelity and sexual misconduct, former Vice President and prominent global warming activist, Al Gore, angrily dismissed these accusations today at a press corps luncheon. Read the full story

A number of web forums have been requesting articles about penis enlargement. As a public service to the readers of this website, for whom we believe there is a vast need for such information, we at Penile Dream Fulfillment are sending you this list of alternative forms for enhancing one’s assets: Read the full story

Number One golfer Tiger Woods, and the doctors treating him for sex addiction, claim he has made a complete recovery and no longer has any desire for sex at all.

Woods admitted himself into a sex rehab center in Hattiesburg, Mississippi after admitting to enjoying sex with no fewer than 100 women in the course of one year. After intensive therapy he no longer craves sex at all and hopes he never has sex again.

“Sex is icky and scary”, Woods told reporters. “I hope I never do that to myself again!” Read the full story

After spending six weeks in the Gentle Path rehabilitation center near Hattiesburg, Mississippi, where he was treated for chronic sexual addiction, Tiger Woods apparently still craves sex, according to sources.

“Tiger’s wife, Elin Nordegren, came to pick him up from the clinic,” an unnamed clinician told Glossy News. “She was looking pretty hot and it appeared to me that he had a boner! Either that or he was trying to smuggle a huge banana out in his pocket!”

Woods was not allowed to have sex of any sort at the clinic. Even masturbation was forbidden. Read the full story

OK Hank,

Here are a couple philosophical questions for your amusement.

Why do men and women have two hands?

If the Universe is expanding like my waistline, why does the content of my wallet not do the same?

Why do Korean women taste different than Chinese women? Read the full story