Posted in Serious Commentary

Site Renovation and Improvement for 2020 (IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ!) :)

Dear Glossy News readers, writers and advertisers, thanks so much for making our amazing non-partisan satire site what it is today!

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Site Renovation and Improvement for 2020 (IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ!) :)
Obituary
Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc Celebrity Gossip

Obituary: Wallace Runnymede (Jonathan Ferguson) Glossy News Editor, 1983-2019

“Dr” Jonathan Ferguson, 1983-2019, was a self-styled ‘renowned intellectual’ and ‘charismatic edgelord’ who falsely claimed to hold 5 PhDs (or 3, or 2, depending on the version you hear), including one from a prominent Polish diploma mill that was so…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Obituary: Wallace Runnymede (Jonathan Ferguson) Glossy News Editor, 1983-2019
Furious
Posted in Politics World News

‘Can’t Be Arsed Getting Married’ Dude Wants You to Know IMMIGRATION is DESTROYING HIS COUNTRY!!!!!!

Some random dude who ‘just wants to live a little, same as everybody else!’ wants to know that absolutely everything wrong in his country is because of them pesky migrants! Common Glossy News Professor Smiggles investigates. The Reverend Scrotie McScroteface,…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! ‘Can’t Be Arsed Getting Married’ Dude Wants You to Know IMMIGRATION is DESTROYING HIS COUNTRY!!!!!!
Posted in Politics World News

Donald Trump’s Latest Conspiratorial Rant: ‘The Jews Control Israel’ (2/2)

Last time: TRUMP: The Jews! Incredible. The Jews control Israel. Unbelievable. Believe me, this is yuuuge. JAKE TAPPER: OK, I’m buying it. But what about some of our more sceptical viewers out there? What’s your message for them? The story…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Donald Trump’s Latest Conspiratorial Rant: ‘The Jews Control Israel’ (2/2)
Posted in Politics World News

Donald Trump’s Latest Conspiratorial Rant: ‘The Jews Control Israel’ (1/2)

Rambunctious Orange Lives Matter Civil Activist and Pitiful Nazicon Stooge Donald Trump has recently delivered another hate-ridden tirade. After his edgy pre-election comments on ‘Latino rapists’ and ‘banning Muslims,’ Jake Tapper’s recent interview shows the Donald propagating a bizarre anti-Semitic…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Donald Trump’s Latest Conspiratorial Rant: ‘The Jews Control Israel’ (1/2)
Labour Party
Posted in Top Stories World News

Ken ‘Red Ken’ Livingstone Loses His Shit over ‘Jewish Media’ Lies

Genial wheeler-dealer, establishment radical politico wide boy/white boy and notable non-racist not-quite-Marxist-but-kinda-getting-there-a-little-bit-vulgar-Corbynite-tankie-lad Ken Livingstone… Is currently being interrogated by Labour for his recent antisemitic comments. Here’s Ken ‘Cheeky Chappie’ Livingstone’s latest Del-Boyishly-winsome Youtube rant: OY! Listen ‘ere, yer FAHCKING MAHPPET! Ah…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Ken ‘Red Ken’ Livingstone Loses His Shit over ‘Jewish Media’ Lies
White supremacists
Posted in Politics

Republican Godwin’s Law Bingo

I: Hitler had a single-payer healthcare system. II: Hitler persecuted innocent, well-meaning wealth creators, made them produce his bombs. Socialist welfare advocates want to do the same!

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Republican Godwin’s Law Bingo
False teeth aka dentures
Posted in Crime Internets Tubes

Conspiracy Theories – The Website For The Well Informed Paranoiac

Conspiracy Theories is the hard hitting website that isn’t afraid to investigate and expose the dark forces that seek to prey in so many devious ways upon the general publicum. We are here because you need us! We are ever…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Conspiracy Theories – The Website For The Well Informed Paranoiac
Posted in Human Interest Science

Conspiracy Theorist Denies Olive Oil is Extra Virgin

NEW YORK – Guido da Vinci had always wondered how there could so much extra virgin olive oil in supermarkets across the world. “I mean wherever I went in the world, I could find extra virgin olive oil. A lot…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Conspiracy Theorist Denies Olive Oil is Extra Virgin