Search Results for: obama
“Gun of Passion” Argument Likely to Acquit Zimmerman
SANFORD – The prospects of George Zimmerman’s conviction are looking grim after his defense lawyers presented an incredible, jaw-dropping defense of the former neighborhood watchman: the gun of passion. Zimmerman’s attorneys offered the argument after hearing a long, and often…
DPRK Adds Second “Democratic” to Name
PYONGYANG – In a move that is receiving widespread international approval, the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea has added a second “Democratic” to its name, paving the way for what Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un describes as “A new era of…
Dark Day for Homophobes on Facebook
MISSISSIPPI— Paula McClure (48) a housewife and occasional churchgoer, was watching television. Not Netflix on a television, but honest to God TV with commercials and all. Today Paula has disconnected from the internet entirely because the Supreme Court ruled that…
Eric Holder Grabs Justice by the Balls
In theaters now! If you liked Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn’s performance in the original 2004 sports comedy, then you are going to love Iron E-Media’s latest release: “DOJBall” (starring Attorney General Eric Holder). With such memorable lines as, “No…
Moderate Sarah Palin urges non-intervention and caution in Syria
Former U.S. Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin encouraged moderation and caution with respect to U.S. intervention in Syria, and denounced U.S. President Barack Obama for heeding former President Bill Clinton, former Defense Secretary Leon Panetta, former Secretary of State Hillary…
New ‘Trans-Jewish’ Movement Sparks Outrage
A new movement being popularized on Tumblr is seeking to show solidarity with individuals worldwide who feel they are “Trans-Jewish.” According to other posts on the page, the author is concerned with giving a voice to people such as himself,…
Power Wheels Offer Green Solution
NEW YORK- Mattel, parent company of the popular toy brand Power Wheels, has announced their bid in to the economic future of this country. They have announced a partnership with the Ford Motor Company to begin selling Power Wheels on…
Plumbers Rush to Stop NSA Leak
FORT MEADE – After gaining word of a tremendous NSA leak, plumbers in Staten Island and across the country dashed to Maryland in hopes of averting an insurance claim disaster. Led by Joe Wurzelbacher and John McCain, the group of…
Michele Bachman Comes Out as Eggplant
ST. PAUL – Democrats and Republicans alike are in shock after famed Congresswoman Michele Bachmann announced her exit from the closet as a proud American Eggplant. The move, which came after her recent decision not to seek reelection to the…
Tea Party Warns of Threat to American Onion
TOPEKA – Members of the Kansas Tea Party are drawing considerable attention after they released a documentary warning of a threat to the “American Onion.” Director Shelley Burnell explained her film’s purpose, saying: “For generations America has existed as an…