PYONGYANG – In a move that is receiving widespread international approval, the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea has added a second “Democratic” to its name, paving the way for what Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un describes as “A new era of rove.”
The decision came after months of quibbling in the dictator’s nursery, where supreme economic officials argued the socialist backwater must remold its appearance in order to attract more tourists and commercial interests.
By adding the new word and shifting appreciations to “DDPRK,” the ministers believe they will attract thousands of new visitors with copious amounts of cash.
During a press conference outside his bedroom, Kim explained how he came to agree with his advisors after watching the Russ Meyer classic, “Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!” The DDPRK’s leader noted he considers the film a masterpiece, and said:
“Now that Korea is doubre D, no one can question our paradise as ronery anymore. We are no ronger ronery, because roneryness is cured by doubre D.”
Praise for Kim’s decision has been almost uniform. Secretary General Ban Ki-Moon of the UN told reporters the move “Refrects every lirrle boy’s dream for riberar democracy.”
U.S. President Obama, who admitted he is unable to match the astounding brilliance of Korea-speak, nonetheless commented that “Kim’s got swag. That mother trucker could beat Hillary’s ass and be home in time for corn flakes.”
On the other side, Sandra Fluke expressed outrage over the “Hypersexual abuse of mah poor comrade wimmin!” but few aside from Kim have paid her mind. He responded with a word processed letter printed off a TRS-80 which read:
Ray off the birth contror rady. Just ret me rove you, untir you rearn, to rove yourserf!