Category: Science & Technologizzy
Facebook Addiction Survivors Found Adrift in Cyberspace
RESTSTOP, Info Superhighway (GlossyNews) — A group of Facebook addiction survivors was found floating in cyberspace last night, clinging to the remnants of a past life spent ogling other people’s lives from the comfort of their home or office. The…
California Goes Green by Harnessing Hatred of Prop 8 Proponents
HUNTINGTON BEACH, California (GLossyNews) — A California scientist has come up with a novel idea: He has learned to harness the hatred of millions of bigoted Californians to create energy and make minorities rich in the process. Doctor Eli Lafitte,…
This Friday the 13th Predicted to be Astronomical Doozy
VATICAN CITY (GlossyNews) — Several astronomers are coming right out and telling people to be extra careful this Friday the 13th due to the fact that in addition to the 13th falling on a Friday this month, another more sinister…
Apple Developing Drone Phones for Use While Driving
CUPERTINO, California – (Glossy News) Already iPhone 4 owners are being pulled over by the thousands and ticketed for using their new multi-tasking phones while driving, an illegal act in most states. Iphone 4 owners are complaining to Apple that…
Remote Control Pets Deemed Nearer
Rashomon Technologies today announced that it is discontinuing field trials for “Good-Dog” due to the technology’s stunningly successful performance. The product’s target launch date is late 2011, contingent on royalty and licensing agreements with US veterinarians. RT CEO Kazuo Kurosawa…
Oil Disaster Pummels Small Pennsylvania Town
GETTYSBURG, Pennsylvania (GlossyNews) — The latest in a series of disasters has humbled a small town in Northeastern, PA. Naticoke, Pennsylvania, which was well known in the their region for being a major coal mining town in the 1930’s, was…
Solar Tsunami Headed Toward Earth; What NASA Didn’t Say
From Astronomy Daily: While NASA was trying to get our attention by telling us a Solar Tsunami is nothing to worry about and would only be responsible for bringing the Aurora Borealis further south for viewing, the very fact that…
Director Cameron Making 4-D Movie
HOLLYWOODLAND, West Coast (GlossyNews) — Self-crowned ‘King of Directors’ James Cameron today announced a project expected to establish a new standard in cinema. Speaking from Malibu’s exclusive ‘Pssst, You can smoke in here’ Bistro, the mega-hit crafter was upbeat, while…
ET’s to End Earth Monitoring
ROSWELL, New Mexico (GlossyNews) — The Intergalactic Play Nice Force has decided to abandon Earth operations, so said District Superintendent Greg Gort today. “The IPNF really has no interest here anymore. It’s a wind-down, could take three Earth years at…
Coast Guard Fights Huge Leak in SeaWorld Whale
ORLANDO, Florida (GlossyNews) — Wearied by weeks of fighting the horrendous Gulf oil spill, the U.S. Coast Guard mobilized today to battle a large leak from a giant whale in a SeaWorld theme park. “This is massive,” said Coast Guard…