Paliens Infiltrate Sarah Palin Events to Undermine Conservatives
Little is known about the group calling itself “Paliens” but sources have indicated that they are a group of clairvoyants who are secretly infiltrating Sarah Palin events and using their supernatural powers to alter the intelligence of Palin herself to…
Singles Kicked Off BeautifulPeople.com Launch PrettyFaces.com
BOSTON, Mass. – Singles who were kicked off the elite dating site BeautifulPeople.com, the self-proclaimed “sexiest website in the world,” are not taking their dismissal lying down. Many of the 5,000 people who were ruled off the site for porking…
Catholics Refuse To Recognize Ronald Reagan As A Saint
The Catholic Church today rejected the Republican Party’s attempt to have Ronald Reagan canonized as a saint. The Republicans have been striving for some time to win over the Church to their viewpoint of Reagan as being divine, but the…
Ann Coulter Jokes – Humor About The Mean Queen
Why does Ann Coulter call security whenever liberals area around her house? Because her flying monkeys are busy doing other chores for her. How many liberals can Ann Coulter devour at one sitting? Only two- she’s cutting down to keep…
Horoscopes by Catman, Dude
Otherwise rational people often underestimate the power that certain gemstones, colors, and musical notes exert on their lives, especially the parts that haven’t occurred yet. Catman, Dude has addressed this problem in the past by plugging people into the associations…
Mark of the Beast “666” Encoded on Holiday Gift Cards
A record number of Christians have been flooding their local Wal-Mart stores and asking for replacements for the gift cards they received for Christmas due to the fact that they claim the mark of the beast “666” has been encoded…
Activists Missing After Declaring “War on Leather” at Motorcycle Rally
Johnstown, PA (GlossyNews) – Local and state police scoured the hills outside rural Johnstown, Pennsylvania, after reports of three animal rights activists going missing after attempting to protest the wearing of leather at a large motorcycle gang rally this weekend….
Sarah Palin’s Book “Going Rogue’ Pulled From Shelves
Sarah Palin’s book Going Rogue has been pulled from the shelves due to a large misprint error. The intended, more appropriate title was supposed to be Going With Rouge. Word was sent out by the publishing house to those already…
Zamfir Cell Phone Virus Threatens United States
Zamfir, the first in-the-wild mobile phone virus discovered in the United States, is set to wreak havoc on the lives of teen-agers, SUV drivers, and text-messaging office workers across the land. Appearing on Meet the Press yesterday, Verizon’s James Earl…
Warning: Bank Zombies Out to Get You
A new, terrifying species of vampire has been discovered that has begun a feeding frenzy throughout the world. The horrifying part is that it haunts the least likely of places, your local bank! This vampire is a new one for…