Posted in Human Interest

Did SeaWorld Trainer Dawn Brancheau Commit Suicide?

ORLANDO, FL – As SeaWorld prepares to reintroduce its “Dancing with Killer Whales” program this weekend, rumors have begun rising, like tiny bubbles of blood to the surface of the water, regarding the mind set of orca trainer Dawn Brancheau,…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Did SeaWorld Trainer Dawn Brancheau Commit Suicide?
Posted in Crime

Lil’ Wayne Sentencing Postponed for Hemorrhoid Surgery

NEW YORK – Once again an attorney for Lil’ Wayne has requested a postponement of the rapscallion’s jail sentencing for gun possession. The sentencing had been scheduled originally for last month, but Judge Charles H. Solomon agreed to a request…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Lil’ Wayne Sentencing Postponed for Hemorrhoid Surgery
Posted in Politics

President Obama Set to Renew Inaugural Vow

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In an effort to revive his flagging presidency, Barack Obama plans to renew his oath of office in a special bipartisan ceremony to be held at the Washington Monument early this spring. Falling somewhere between a full-blown…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! President Obama Set to Renew Inaugural Vow
Posted in Human Interest Talky Pictures

Kevin Smith Made to Purchase Two Seats at Sushi Bar

LOS ANGELES – The next time Kevin Smith visits If It Smells Like Fish, his favorite sushi bar in L.A., he will have to purchase two seats. According to a source close to Mr. Smith—or as close to him as…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Kevin Smith Made to Purchase Two Seats at Sushi Bar
Posted in Human Interest

PETA Wants Tilikum the Killer Whale Tried As a Dolphin

NORFOLK, Vir. – PETA has served notice to SeaWorld attorneys that it plans to file an amicus Delphinidae brief in a Florida district court on behalf of Tilikum, the so-called “killer whale,” who is suspected of drowning one of his…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! PETA Wants Tilikum the Killer Whale Tried As a Dolphin
Posted in Celebrity Gossip

Taylor Swift Opening a Chain of Anal Bleaching Salons

NASHVILLE – Country artist Taylor Swift, 20, announced to her fan site T-SWIFT.COM yesterday that she plans to open a chain of anal bleaching salons this summer. Ms. Swift, who turns her frequent two-month romances into popular songs, will cut…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Taylor Swift Opening a Chain of Anal Bleaching Salons
Posted in Human Interest

Michelle Obama Taps Barbie Doll for Anti-Obesity Campaign

WASHINGTON, D.C. – The Barbie doll turned fifty-one recently, and First Lady Michelle Obama noted the occasion by announcing that Barbie would serve as the official spokesperson for the White House’s anti-childhood-obesity campaign. “If America’s young people looked more like…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Michelle Obama Taps Barbie Doll for Anti-Obesity Campaign
Posted in Politics

Patrick Kennedy Retires to Spend More Time on Facebook

PROVIDENCE, R.I. – Patrick Joseph Kennedy II, who has represented Rhode Island’s 1st congressional district since 1995, has announced that he will not seek reelection. Mr. Kennedy, 42, has wrestled with alcoholism, bipolar disorder, and drug abuse, both recreational and…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Patrick Kennedy Retires to Spend More Time on Facebook
Posted in Internets Tubes

Tila Tequila Shuts Down Her Twitter Account

HOLLYWOOD, CA – Reality television star Tila Tequila has canceled her Twitter account after telling her 309,980 followers that “Twitter is full of nothing but the most hateful devil worshippers, terrorists, racists, greeks, and fat people that I have ever…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Tila Tequila Shuts Down Her Twitter Account
Posted in Health Human Interest

Viagra Vision Loss Blamed in Senior Citizen Fire

EXTON, PA – A seventy-two-year-old man set fire to his apartment in the Sunrise Acres retirement facility last night after he had tried to light a candle but ignited the drapes instead. Gerald DeHaven told police he had taken Viagra…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Viagra Vision Loss Blamed in Senior Citizen Fire