Mark of the Beast “666” Encoded on Holiday Gift Cards

A record number of Christians have been flooding their local Wal-Mart stores and asking for replacements for the gift cards they received for Christmas due to the fact that they claim the mark of the beast “666” has been encoded within the card.

Although the card numbers themselves do not contain the number 666, customers have complained that when they go to Wal-Mart intending to use the cards to purchase items, their purchases almost always total out to either $6.66, $66.66 or for larger purchases $666 and change.

Word among churches has spread like wildfire and Christians are afraid to use their cards for fear that their purchases will ring up to the dreaded 666 number and they will face retribution in these end times. “It is scary how many people are coming up to me and telling me that they’ve gotten purchases rung up that total $6.66 or $66.66,” said Rev. James “Gimmy” Moore of the Last Church of the Redemption in Trimble, MO. “Sometimes it happens when folks are just paying cash too, which baffles us. We are thinking that this thing is much bigger than just gift cards, and may go to the very heart of Wal-Mart’s computer systems.”

Yonna Nealdown claims that she’s also seen the phenomenon in the price tags attached to women’s lingerie being sold at Wal-Mart. According to Yonna, “I was looking at tags in the ladies’ undergarment section and found a batch of very provocative lacy bras which were all encoded with the numbers 5546664532, 5546664533, 5546664534, etc. I wrote those numbers down because (1) when I looked at the plain cotton bras in the section, none of them had numbers with 666 in them; and (2) I remembered hearing something about the 666 number being attached to items that were associated with the devil’s work.”

Yonna then went to her local Target to check the tags in their lingerie department and none of them bore the mark of the beast. “This really proves it to me,” said Yonna, “that Satan is working through Wal-Mart and unless they start listening to their Christian customers, there is going to be hell to pay. I’ll definitely have something to talk about in church come Sunday morning.”

To follow up on this story, we decided to make a visit to Wal-Mart’s headquarters in Bentonville, Arkansas to find out if they were intentionally encoding their products to ring up to any number of 666 totals but were told that we would not be granted an interview on such a bogus claim. So there you have it. Not only is Wal-Mart encoding their computers to pay homage to the beast himself, but they refuse to acknowledge or deny these rumors when given the chance.

Author: P. Beckert

P. Beckert's is one voice vying for frequency room at the top of the opinion dial. Angered and bewildered by many of today’s events, P. Beckert uses humor as a tool to fight against an onslaught of stupidity and ignorance that seems to permeate the airwaves and pollute the sensitivities of a once brilliant nation. You can find more at ISaidLaughDammit.blogspot.com.

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