Palin Signs Deal With Fox News…Then Quits.
Simon Cowell Leaving American Idol for Good
When asked why he was leaving American Idol, Simon Cowell coyly replied, “I’ve got other irons in the fire and it’s just time for me to go.” But sources close to the star claim that, like his fellow judge, Randy…
Alert – Redneck Right Wingers Have Learned To Type And Have Infiltrated The Internet
ALERT! ALERT! Hard right rednecks have learned to use the Internet and even more horrifyingly the comments section of Glossy News. Someone has taught them to type and in some cases even to spell. They are swiftly learning to use…
Texas Makes Good On Promise To Secede From U.S. – Joins Mexico
The Alamo, El Paso, TX The state of Texas today seceded from the United States and joined with Mexico, a nation it had once fought for independence from at the Alamo. Governor Rick Perry, disgruntled with the economic politics of…
Ask Hank: Dying to Date a Triple D
Dear Hank: I’ve got a crush on my neighbor. She lives just across the apartment complex from me, is stunningly gorgeous, and I know from looking, she’s single. She does have the odd one-time male guest now and again, but…
RIAA Wants Record Labels to Limit Home CD Use
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The RIAA (Recording Industry Association of America) has fingered consumers who play CDs repeatedly as “the single greatest threat” to recording industry profits. The industry watchdog group is suggesting, therefore, that record labels take steps to limit…
European Union Won’t Honor Christmas Starting 2010
Brussells (GlossyNews) — According to a new policy mandated by an internal commission of the European Union, Christmas 2010, and every Christmas thereafter, will just be ‘another day’ on the calendar. A spokesperson for the Regional Policy Commission of the…
Branson, Virgin to Build Ski Resort in Florida
London (GlossyNews) — A spokesman for Richard Branson today announced the entrepreneur’s plans to build a world class ski resort in Florida to take advantage of the changing climate. Stanley Kidd, in a press conference in London laid out Branson’s…
TSA Takes “Security” Out of Name
Washington DC (GlossyNews) — The US Transportation Security Administration today announced effective February 1, 2010, the Administration will take the word “Security” out of its title, becoming simply the US Transportation Administration. The official spokesman for the Administration, Roger ‘…
Right Wingers Send The Obamanator Back In Time To Set Things Right
January 2013- Republicans, their plans for world domination foiled by the overwhelming win in the presidential election that again brought Barack Obama to the throne of the most powerful country in the world, are upset. In anger over their bitter…