Last-Minute Budget Deal; Here are the Cuts
John Boner [sic] made a last-minute deal with Harry Reid to keep the country running on a day-to-day basis. Though the Tea Party feels the cuts weren’t deep enough, others feel the democratic concessions went too far. Here are some…
Lady Liberty Loses Innocence to Greedy Suitors
It was a heinous act; too vile and too great for our minds to even truly comprehend. Lady Liberty, our much beloved symbol of America, was assaulted and callously violated today in an attack that has left the nation breathless…
New Evidence Casts Doubt on ‘Official’ 9-11 Report
In short, digital enhancement of what was once thought to be video of an innocent family outing on a fateful day in American history now suggests the truth of 9-11 has long been packaged in a tissue of lies. At…
Patriots for Pot Put Support behind Morgan Freeman for President
A more liberal-leaning sect of the Tea Party known as the Patriots for Pot are putting their money behind actor Morgan Freeman for President even though he’s not running (officially). Dilbert “Doobie” Warner, President of the Patriots for Pot Party…
Unemployment Dips, Executive Pay Soars (with little taxes)
Unemployment took an unexpected turn for the better, with 216,000 new jobs added to payroll last month. And while The USA Today reported that 2010 saw median incomes rise 2.1%, it also reported that median CEO pay jumped 27% for…
Glenn Beck Defeated by Boycott, Ratings, Sensibilities
Dramatic drops in ratings combined with a lack of any reputable (top-of-market-paying) advertiser willing to be part of his show have finally taken their toll on Glenn Beck and his FOXNews program. Beck offered a rare olive branch, saying, “…I…
Englishman Shares Home With 240 “Intimacy” Dolls
Cyril Knowles 52, of Wembley is a happily married man. Yet he shares his modest home with 240 sex dolls of all shapes, sizes and colors. Strangely, Mrs Knowles helps him to dress and undress his silicone legion, and even…
Charles Manson Becomes Newest Member of Oprah Book Club
Corcoran State Prison, CA- You see what they try to do. They get in our minds. We gotta beat them by being in our own minds. You’re not the thought police. I’m the f’ing thought police. It’s because I think….
House Passes Historic “Earmarks Only” Bill
Washington, DC – GlossyNews.com – The U.S. House of Representatives today passed the bipartisan $500 million No Districts Left Behind Bill by a vote of 399 to 36. An historical departure from the governing body’s usual practice of adding pork…