WikiLeaks Reveals Newt-Mitt Meeting Details
Normally talkative sources from campaigns Gingrich and Romney remain silent on a recent summit between the two bitter rivals. Characterized by both camps as more a social ‘let bygones be bygones’ affair, the meeting has left election watchers wondering whether…
Just Whose Heart Beats in Dick Cheney’s Chest?
News information services have informed us that former President-Of-Vice Dick Cheney has had a heart transplant. The former Haliburton head man had to wait almost two years to get his new ticker because of the difficulty of finding a heart…
Comedy Central Hires Keith Olbermann
Keith Olbermann was fired Friday by Current TV for breach of contract. Fortunately for Olbermann, he won’t have to start a new Countdown for the days since his firing or days until his new job. That’s because Olbermann was immediately…
PETA Launches Jackass Campaign
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) announced this week an ambitious new initiative aimed at changing the way people perceive mules. The program was announced by PETA spokesperson Barb Arians in an emotional, sometimes acrimonious press conference. “This…
Grandma Foils Would-Be Carjacker with Bag of Doggie Doo
Cecelia (Cece) Hudson is being hailed as one tough grandma this morning after reports of an attempted hijacking of her precious 1994 Honda Accord met with dismal failure. Due to her quick thinking and a conveniently placed bag of fresh…
Elway-Manning for America 2012
Area man Peyton Manning had just gotten laid off from work. Within 48 hours, he knew what he had to do. He hopped on a plane and headed to Denver. John Elway, Broncos exec, was waiting for him. “Sorry about…
VP 2012: Mitt’s Pick gets Nitpicked
ON THE GOPTEA™ TRAIL —GlossyNews Inevitable, unstoppable, charismatic Juggernaut Willard ‘Mitt’ Romney faced heated questioning this week on the issue of VP selection. The name Rand Paul has been surfacing with increased frequency among Romney confidantes, leading some election watchers…
Gingrich Charged With Felonious Photoshopping
WASHINGTON DC –GlossyNews Newt Gingrich, politician and part-time front runner in the GOPTea™ presidential race, has been charged with “the gravest, most evil transgression that humanity has ever been subjected to.” An activist group claims Mr. Gingrich has been illegally…
Newly Discovered Da Vinci Masterpiece Stirs Controversy
Among connoisseurs of great art, the giants who are known by a single name comprise a very short list. We have Raphael, Rembrandt, Picasso, Michelangelo, and of course [Thomas] Kinkade. But perhaps none of these can compare with the magic…
Pat Robertson Puts Hit on Manning
Pat Robertson put a cosmic bounty on quarterback Peyton Manning, damning him to be injured this season as retribution for the Denver Broncos getting rid of Tim Tebow. “Hey, The Saints had the same system. Never second-guess a saint,” said…