GOPTea Claims Veep Mittstakes Keep 2012 Election Interesting
BOSTON, Mass. – EBBQ – The range of the GOPTea™ party’s unrolling Veep list rockets from the absurd to the impractical, borders the impossible and suddenly flips back to the absurd — it’s an endless loop. Will we get another…
Study Links Decline to Spare Tire Trend
As Physicists huddle underground in super collider facilities, much of the world is fascinated with the quest for the elusive Higgs Boson particle. Current scientific consensus believes the Higgs Boson may play a role in defining gravity, based on the…
Trump Killed By Mob; Resurrected By Satan
Enraged at Donald Trump’s failed political career, scores of angry investors screwed out of millions in campaign dollars converged on Trump’s limo outside a district court, pulled him from the vehicle and strangled him to death with his own comb-over.
Five-Year Old Child Prodigy Channeling Frank Zappa
Ezra and Zoe Weinbaum of Hollywood, Florida are finally ready to accept the fact that they may just have a child prodigy on their hands. Their son, Zach, has shown musical talent almost since he was able to coo, and…
Bigfoot Saves Man from Chupacabra
Spanish Forks, Idaho has long been famous for trout fishing and scenic mountain vistas. Many in this small town now wonder if that has changed forever, given recent events. Accounts differ, but most agree it began with local man Al…
Etch-A-Mitt™ Galvanizes The GOPTea™
NORTH WISCONSIN —GlossyNews “America hasn’t been working,” Romney said at a recent political rally in north Wisconsin, “…and I believe it’s because they don’t have jobs. Wisconsin is like all the rest of the states. Where have all your jobs…
If Republican Candidates Had Lived At Other Times In History
Had the key 2012 Republican candidates* lived previous lives, what might have been their comments at the following historical events? THE MIDDLE AGES- A WITCH BURNING: SANTORUM: This harlot before us is one of Satan’s own who has used her…
States Unwittingly Promote Masturbation by Prohibiting Gateway Sexual Activity
SALT LAKE CITY – In a poll taken of students in several states including Utah and Wisconsin, where new laws have been enacted to promote abstinence only as a way to prevent unwanted pregnancies, it was discovered that masturbation has…
GOP Halloween Haunted House of Terror Coming to Tampa
This coming Halloween season, you’ll get a chance to tour one of the scariest amusement attractions you’ll ever experience – if you have the stomach. I’m of course talking about the chillingly scary GOP Presidential Halloween Haunted House of Terror…
Ghost of Thurber Stalks Keith Olbermann
Keith Olbermann now admits he “screwed up” by once failing to complete Part Three of James Thurber’s “The Greatest Man in the World” and is haunted by the irate ghost of the long departed writer and cartoonist. Keith Olbermann, former…