Grandma Foils Would-Be Carjacker with Bag of Doggie Doo

Cecelia (Cece) Hudson is being hailed as one tough grandma this morning after reports of an attempted hijacking of her precious 1994 Honda Accord met with dismal failure. Due to her quick thinking and a conveniently placed bag of fresh doggie doo on her front passenger seat, Hudson was able to debilitate the would-be robber until authorities arrived to arrest him for grand theft auto.

Hudson, from Flushing, Michigan, claims she had just finished taking her black lab, Chauncey, for a walk in Woof Woods Dog Park and realized she was late for her weekly hair appointment at Dayshawna’s Hair Salon.

“I weren’t near no trash bin and was running late, so I just told Chauncey to get in the car and threw the bag of fresh dog poo in the front seat beside him and took off.”

Hudson claims she got the dog home and jumped back in the car and was about a block away from home when she realized she hadn’t yet thrown away the offensive bag. She pulled to the curb beside a city dumpster and, with bag in hand, was just getting ready to toss it into the dumpster when out of nowhere a young man ran up to the car, strong-armed Hudson and tried to wrest control of the steering wheel.

Fresh bag of doo in hand, Hudson says she snapped the tie open and in one swift motion smashed the foul-smelling waste right smack in the middle of that robber’s face.

“Oh it were a sight to see alright,” said Cece. “He was rolling around on the ground and calling me every name in the book. People started gathering around, but not too close mind you, to see what all the commotion was. Meantime, I was on the phone with the Po-lice.”

Luckily for Hudson, a squad car was in close proximity of the attempted carjacking and arrived in time to take the man into custody. Once he was secured, they turned their attention on the little old lady sitting defensively behind the wheel of her prized automobile.

“He weren’t getting my baby, I can tell you that,” said a defiant Hudson,“ as she lovingly patted the dashboard of the car with her one clean hand.

“Can we get a statement from you ma’am?” asked the police officer.

“Why of course,” she answered. “But first, would you happen to have a wet nap that I could wipe my hands on?”

As the officer stepped back to his patrol car, Cece followed him closely behind. He handed her the wet nap, and she took one last moment to peer through the cruiser’s window at the back seat. She purposefully wiped her hand clean as a whistle, leaned in a little closer and put up only one finger and said to the boy, “Sh*t happens,” then turned and walked back to the officer to give her side of the story.

Author: P. Beckert

P. Beckert's is one voice vying for frequency room at the top of the opinion dial. Angered and bewildered by many of today’s events, P. Beckert uses humor as a tool to fight against an onslaught of stupidity and ignorance that seems to permeate the airwaves and pollute the sensitivities of a once brilliant nation. You can find more at

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