GUESS WHO’S BACK! Trumpisms 5.0
114 Sign on White House door: Gone fission. Be back tomorrow, if there is a tomorrow. 115 Definition of nuclear retaliation — the morning after pill. Guaranteed to prevent pregnancy. Every pregnancy. 116 “It’s falling! It’s falling!” “What?” asked Trump….
BREAKING NEWS! Valentine’s Day, Glossy News Editor Finally Comes Out as Pansexual!
A unique and tear jerking celebrity story like none other! Dear friends, we have some unprecedently important news for you that might just change the course of your life forever! After many years, if not decades or even centuries of…
Alternative Valentine’s Day Odes from Trimjay (ED: NSFW!)
ED: Welcome, Trimjay! This is his first post. Not for the easily offended… I mean like, jussayin. I’m single this year… Roses are beautiful,Often they’re red.But you’re fat and uglyAnd I wish you were dead. Roses are redBut she’s got…
“Managing Student Loans Is Easy,” Says Man Who Faked His Own Death 20 Years Ago
GLACIER, WA— In an attempt to educate young hopefuls on how to one day relieve themselves of student loan debt, Earl Main spoke to a group of recent graduates who had made the journey to his woodland retreat. Through the…
Devil’s Advocate II: STAY AWAY FROM “BORED” SPOUSES THIS VALENTINE’S DAY!
Hey, how’s everyone doin’? Funny how this tima year, all the cockroaches suddenly come crawling outa the woodwork. No don’t worry, I just meant Katie! SPOILER: If a woman or a man is ‘bored with’ whoever they are with, avoid…
Explosive Internal Memos Detail Boeing’s Future Plans for the 737 MAX
“[B]ecause of the specific “side-effect” associated with the MCAS (Maneuvering Characteristics Augmentation System), I suggest we transfer production of the MAX to the SMS (Space and Missile Systems) Division and weaponized the asset, should regulators decide not to re-certify.”
Gwyneth Paltrow Announces Male Focused Goop Spin Off
BALLS IN THE ERROR- Are your balls lacking the sag and elasticity of your youth? This crème product has been infused with antioxidants (beta-carotene, vitamin C, and vitamin D) and secret Chinese ingredients to restore, plumpness, sheen, and dangle. Retail Price $109.00
#SheToo: Cockroach Katie Hopkins Shipwrecks Outa Twitter. SAD!
Now the media have redefined it to include morons like Hopkins who think chatting $$$te purely to get a rise out of people, with zero meaningful moral purpose behind it (just ‘disruption for the sake of disruption.’)
Impeachment Defense Lawyer Jokes
EDITOR: The picture above shows that justice is blind. Not entirely sure what that means. Any ideas??? Why won’t white sharks eat impeachment defense lawyers when they go swimming?A: They are the same skin color…B: They are both in the…
Trump Rushed to Walter Reed for Hand Trauma
rump had suffered multiple paper cuts from his rage induced efforts to tear up old Nancy Pelosi speeches that he demanded his staff find for him after his State of the Union delivery.