How to Scam Your Local Missionaries (comic)
I get way too many missionaries at my door. It’s about every 10-14 days. Maybe it’s because I live in a largely immigrant area and they think we must all be suckers for something new. But there’s a loophole. They…
Editorial: An important message from your cat
[This week, Glossy News is pleased to introduce Tuxedo, a 23-pound spokescat who has requested to provide this op-ed piece, representing the views of household cats everywhere.] Hey, owner. This is your cat. There appears to be a little confusion…
Portland: Fluoride is the Least of Your Worries
In Portland, Oregon today, many citizens are worried about fluoride and its potential effects such that they have voted against its inclusion in their water supply four times in the last six decades. However, what Portlanders seem to be unaware…
Ever Feel Like There’s a Transcript of Your Life? (comic)
We’ve all been there. Wondering who’s listening, how long our words will remain. Well this lady gets a tad literal with it. You have to see the comic to appreciate it, and well you should. CLICK ON THE IMAGE to…
Texas Judge In Quite the Moral Quandary After Unborn Fetus Kills 3
WACO, TEXAS — The Hon. Judge Earl Baker is reportedly “in a pretty big pickle” following the conviction of an unborn fetus who was found guilty of murdering a family of three earlier this year. According to court records from…
DOJ Investigates DOJ, DOJ Clears DOJ in DOJ Review
After information has come to light regarding Chief Justice Eric Holder’s seizure of months of AP phone records and targeting of journalists such as James Rosen and David Sanger, Mr. Holder must now answer…to himself. Upon reading about the entire…
Why did the hipster cross the road – Part Two (comic)
In part two of this question, we dig deeper. It’s a question nearly as old as the one about the chicken. Why did the hipster cross the road? Surely it wasn’t to get a better deal on a pair of…
WebMD-diagnosed Man Definitely Has AIDS, or Possibly Just Eczema
DES MOINES, IOWA — It was reported earlier today that local farmer Henry Myopic “definitely [has] AIDS… or maybe eczema.” The 73-year-old Myopic, who regularly checks the WebMD website in an effort to pinpoint his assorted ailments, was able to…
The Biggest Boozer Tossed After Two Episodes
It’s official: the Biggest Boozer has been canceled. This whale puke of a summer replacement only made two pilot episodes before producers mercifully pulled the plug. “We know the contract says you get paid for 6 episodes. Just take the…
Why did the hipster cross the road – Part One (comic)
It’s a question nearly as old as the one about the chicken. Why did the hipster cross the road? Surely it wasn’t to get a better deal on a pair of pre-worn, faded slacks. Surely it wasn’t because there was…