Category: Top Stories
Disney Tries Bold Corporate Takeover Of Entire Worlds Of Fantasy
Disney Corporation has made another great stride in its endeavor to control all possible realms of consumer fantasy. With a buyout of $4 billion in cash and stocks, the great Mickey has bought the upstart Marvel Comics franchise, the famous…
Brazil Economists Say Brazil Loss is Victory for Brazil Economy
RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil (GlossySports) -– While almost every Brazilian is saddened by the stunning loss of their team to the Netherlands in the quarter-final match, economists in Brazil are celebrating unabashedly, claiming that the loss has a decidedly silver…
GOP Encourages Biden to Continue Speaking Publicly, Markets Plunge
In further evidence that the GOP is an enemy of the American people, gaffe-prone Biden was encouraged to continue speaking after a series of horrific and embarrassing introductory remarks Thursday at an NRAACPA meeting, leading to further verbal and financial…
You May Not Know Alvin Greene Now, But You Will
IIMANNING, South Carolina (Glossy News) – It’s been over a month since virtual unknown Alvin Greene from South Carolina became the Democratic candidate to run against incumbent Republican, Jim DeMint for a United States Senate seat in November. As some…
Obama Food Program Threatens Bush Weight Loss Policies
WASHINGTON, D.C (GlossyNews) — Americans are still too fat, but obesity rates in the United States appear to be slowing, according to newly released research. Government data show that 68 percent of U.S. adults are considered overweight, having a body…
Chicago’s Famous Wrigley Outsources Its Mints to Canada – The Horror
CHICAGOLAND, Illinois (GlossyNews) — The horror! The horror! This is a quote from Heart Of Darkness by Joseph Conrad, the short story that inspired the movie Apocalypse Now. It is also a quote on the tongues of many Chicagoans when…
Michael Steele calls Obama ‘Whitey’
PULASKI, Tennessee (GlossyNews) — Insiders predict RNC Chairman Michael Steele will soon decide to ‘spend more time with my family’ in the wake of his recent faux pas. It appears Steele has violated the most revered tenet of the DC…
Obama Imposes Shopping Cart Safety Measures for Kids
BALTIMORE, Maryland (GlossyNews) — The Obama Administration, in another unprecedented exercise of governmental control, has ordered the Consumer Protection Agency to implement sweeping new safety codes to protect children in shopping carts. The strict new rules will carry the force…
Palin Stealth-Launches 2018 Campaign w/ Tween Biography
It seems Sarah Palin is looking to expand her approval among likely voters by looking in an unlikely place; the not-too-distant future. If she can dominate the emerging evangelist demographic, it may be enough to just push the vote, and…
GOP Rakes Obama for Buying 3 ‘Racist’ Kringles
RACINE, Wisconsin (GlossyNews) — On the way into the city of Racine, Wisconsin from the Milwaukee airport, President Obama was googling around on his Blackberry and he found a local pastry shop. From there, everything started to go wrong.