Category: Top Stories
Bush’s Secret: Sears was Target
WILLIS TOWER LOBBY, CHICAGO (Glossy News)—Former Pres G.W. Bush, who prefers to be known as W, visited Chicago to promote his forgettable memoir, My Distant Points: As Opposed to 41’s Vision Thing the other day. In what his press release…
‘The Dick’ Cheney Gets Starring Role In ‘Dr. Strangelove’ Remake
Dick Cheney returns to the worlds spotlight this week as he appears in his first movie part–reprising the unforgettable Peter Sellers role of Dr. Strangelove in the remake of the Stanley Kubrik movie of the same name. Sellers made cinematic…
So. Cal Mystery Missile Tale Takes New Turn
It began with video from a California news helicopter. A rapidly ascending object is seen leaving a con trail against the backdrop of a beautiful sunset, several miles offshore. Rampant speculation followed, amid Pentagon denials of any ‘Area 51’ type…
White House Celebrates as US Reaches 100% Unemployment Milestone
Washington, DC – 52 year old Robert Freed was blind-sided today when he walked into work and found a pink slip taped to his locker. After 23 years as an assemblyman at the GM truck plant in Dearborn Michigan, he…
Sarah Palin Takes Aim at Babs Bush, Fires the Crazy Cannon
It is increasingly clear that establishment Republicans don’t have much love for Ms. Sarah Palin. It is also crystal clear that Sarah Palin couldn’t give two rat’s asses if they do or not. In fact, she is going out of…
Kim Jong Il Earns Enhance Nickname ‘Lil Dick’
North Korea’s bombing of a residential district on a South Korean island this past week has the entire world on edge to see what lies ahead. The United States is already responding to the threat while holding talks with China…
Forget Green, “Blue” Group Mounts Tea Party Challenge
CINCINNATI, Ohio (Glossy News) — Flush with recent success, the loosely organized AstroTurf Tea Party movement already faces a threat to its new-found power from an unexpected source. While some political analysts call the group a predictable splintering, others term…
Snubbed the Cast of “Jersey Shore,” Kim Jong Il Attacks S. Korea
SEOUL, South Korea — Fourteen South Korean Marines and two South Korean civilians were injured after North Korea fired dozens of shells at a South Korean border island on Monday. The attack comes only days after it was discovered that…
Haley Barbour Channels Aunt Pittypat to Deny Racism’s Afoot
A secret videotape was recently found of Gov Haley Barbour (R-Miss.) channeling the spirit of Aunt Pittypat from the movie, Gone with the Wind, to let the world know the hubbub over Virginia Gov. Bob McDonnell’s omission of slavery, while…
TSA Screener Detects Testicular Cancer in Traveler, Saves Life.
SAN NARCISO, Calif. — Ceremonies will be held today in honor of William Fallopian, a local San Narciso boy turned hero. Fallopian, son of Mike Fallopian, a well known Yoyodyne executive and chairman of the Peter Pinguid Society, works for…