Dick Cheney returns to the worlds spotlight this week as he appears in his first movie part–reprising the unforgettable Peter Sellers role of Dr. Strangelove in the remake of the Stanley Kubrik movie of the same name.
Sellers made cinematic history as the wheelchair-bound, ex-Nazi atomic physicist who has a problem trying to keep his right hand from making the famous “Heil Hitler” salute. Cheney, considered a natural for the role, is reported to have needed few acting lessons to ‘become’ Strangelove.
The major difference between the Sellers rendition and the ex-Vice President’s is that Cheney’s version is being performed without humor. When asked why he chose to do it that way, the Great Dick snortily replied “What, you think this is supposed to be funny?”
A second part, that of the hyper-American General so brilliantly payed by George C. Scott was given to another former Bush crony who is also making his acting debut–the eternally weaselly Republican shill Karl Rove. It was a surprise move as Rove in no way resembles the athletically strong, tough Scott who so convincing played a hard core American military General in both this movie and in the Oscar bedecked ‘Patton’. When asked if he would reprise the courage, valor and toughness that Scott showed in his portrayal, Rove replied in a nerdy, nervous voice “Courage, valor and toughness? Haven’t a clue.”
Filming has almost wrapped up. George Bush will have a cameo as the Slim Pickens character who falls out of a bomber on top of a nuclear device and rides it cowboy style to its earthly Russian destination. Bush choose the role because it was the only one that allowed him to wear a cowboy hat and not have to remember any lines, especially since he never could get the hang of saying nucular properly.
An interesting aside to this is that there was an actor in the original film actually named Glenn Beck. Fox’s Glenn Beck was offered the small role but refused because he thought it was a liberal plot to make him look ridiculous. He didn’t need to worry, he does that just fine on his own.
Cheney has been doing private rehearsals with the 100 actresses playing the roles of concubines for the top government officials who in the movie will remain underground until the nuclear holocaust is finished. The Great Dick has been having the rehearsals in one of his undisclosed locations alone with the starlets. The former Vice Prez stated that he chose the undisclosed location for nothing other than privacy reasons…..Oh, my God! What are those sudden bursts of blinding light on the horizon?