Categorized | Politics

Forget Green, “Blue” Group Mounts Tea Party Challenge

Forget Green, “Blue” Group Mounts Tea Party Challenge

CINCINNATI, Ohio (Glossy News) — Flush with recent success, the loosely organized AstroTurf Tea Party movement already faces a threat to its new-found power from an unexpected source. While some political analysts call the group a predictable splintering, others term it an insurgency from within. One thing is certain — the “We’re Blue 2″ Party is well organized and highly focused in its agenda.

The group claims that while smaller in numbers, its members are a lot more “grass-rootier” than the Tea Party’s. They also promise a clearer message for all Americans: stop the reverse discrimination. Glossy News attended an event held last weekend at a suburban Cincinnati strip mall to learn more about this emerging force in fringe politics.

The We’re Blue 2 Party, or WB2P as the group calls itself, appears to be entirely comprised of Caucasians best described as very, very late middle-aged. The mood was upbeat as pamphlets were foisted on unsuspecting shoppers, and a speaker rallied the crowd from the bed of a pickup truck.

WP2P member Luther Martin told this reporter, “We’re here because we’ve had enough. It starts small, but we’re networking all across this country. The message is starting to catch like prairie fire.”

WP2P’s one and only issue is what they decry as unfair perceptions of very late middle-aged Caucasian complainers. Martin waved his hand in reference to the small, festive group and their protest signs, which displayed messages ranging from “Bring Back Murder She Wrote” to “Cars All Look Alike Nowadays.”

Said Luther, “That’s who we are — people with legitimate concerns. But we’re dismissed as whiners. If we were black and had musical talent, we’d be called Blues musicians. Nobody ever called that guy Muddy Wolf a whiner, did they? It’s reverse discrimination, and it’s tearing our nation apart.”

Mr. Martin took exception to any suggestion WP2P is a uni-racial movement. “That’s how you fancy media types always want to portray us, isn’t it? And we’re not even supposed to complain, because then we’re whiners. We have African-American support too. Hey Ed, where’s Chuck? Well, I don’t know where Chuck is now, but he’s black and supports WP2P one hundred percent.”

The We’re Blue 2 Party plans a march on Washington just after Thanksgiving, if Ed can borrow his Church’s van.

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I write gags for Glossy News when an idea pops into my pumpkin sized head. Don't make a big deal out of it, OK? I contribute to my local food pantry and you should too.

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One Response to “Forget Green, “Blue” Group Mounts Tea Party Challenge”

  1. Kilroy says:

    “The group claims that while smaller in numbers, its members are a lot more “grass-rootier” than the Tea Party’s.”

    Well, you have to respect the marketing savvy, don’t you?

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