Haley Barbour Channels Aunt Pittypat to Deny Racism’s Afoot

A secret videotape was recently found of Gov Haley Barbour (R-Miss.) channeling the spirit of Aunt Pittypat from the movie, Gone with the Wind, to let the world know the hubbub over Virginia Gov. Bob McDonnell’s omission of slavery, while honoring the entire history of the Confederacy, wasn’t racism, but a “nit,” and didn’t amount to “diddly.” Here’s hoping this tape will put to rest, once and for all, the intent behind McDonnell’s statements.

On CNN’s “State of the Union” program, Barbour lapsed into a cataleptic state, going deep into the other side, as the spirit of Aunt Pittypat stepped from the ether and entered his body. Without hesitation, she sat up and began to breathlessly explain her position on the issue while fading in and out of consciousness.

“I, I really don’t know what all the fuss is about these days, I mean have you ever seen anything like this? Oh goodness, I ain’t never seen nothing like this, ooooooooooo, (faints a little bit, then wakes up) Oh you’re still here! I’ve been so busy I don’t have no time no how to think of such things…oh my gosh–it’s so hot in here. How do you take it? I’m freezing half the time. (Picks up papers and furiously fans herself) Mercy, I do believe I got the vapors…oh chil’ in Heaven, I got the vapors. That’s better. Now about that nice man in Virginia.

“He’s a friend of Dixie and don’t let nobody never tell you no different. You boys are gwine to get that Rebel flag back over the courthouse, aren’t you? Ooooooo, cre-a-tion (faints a little, then awakens) This whole issue about excludin’ people of color from Confederacy Month–it don’t mean diddly. I can tell you this–and you didn’t hear it from me–those colored folks don’t want no part of some silly old Confederacy celebration no ways. Oh, I’m late, do you know what time it is?”

About that time the color disappeared from Barbour’s face and he looked like his old self again. He wiped his face with his forearm, took a deep breath, looked around shiftlessly and asked, “Did that answer your question?” He later claimed to have no recollection of the event.

Author: TawdrySoup.Com

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