Posted in World News

Search for Missing Malaysian Jetliner Extends to Blue Ball, PA

Searchers from 26 countries have now focused their attention on the search for missing Malaysian Airlines flight 370 on the tiny, unincorporated town of Blue Ball, PA. “We had a mysterious radar blip over Blue Ball”, said US Secretary of…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Search for Missing Malaysian Jetliner Extends to Blue Ball, PA
Posted in World News

CEO Ben Linus Says Malaysia Flight 370 Swallowed Up By Smoke Monster

On Monday in Tunis, Tunisia, Ben Linus, CEO of The Dharma Initiative International, issued the following press release claiming the ill fated flight was accidentally swallowed up by an intergalactic black hole. “Fifty thousand years ago a consortium of advanced…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! CEO Ben Linus Says Malaysia Flight 370 Swallowed Up By Smoke Monster
Posted in World News

Doctor Who Claims Responsibility For Malaysia Flight 370

At a press conference Sunday at BBC headquarters in London,  Gallifreyan Time Lord Doctor Who claimed missing Malaysia Flight 370 is with him. “I landed the TARDIS in flight and asked the passengers and flight crew if they would like to…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Doctor Who Claims Responsibility For Malaysia Flight 370
Posted in Politics War Zone

The Charge Of The Light Brigade Revisited; Russia Invades Ukraine Edition

There is a famous poem written about another famous invasion of Crimea from the 1800’s- the British fighting the Russians on the Crimean Peninsula. It is called ‘The Charge Of The Light Brigade’ by Alfred Lord Tennyson and concerns itself…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! The Charge Of The Light Brigade Revisited; Russia Invades Ukraine Edition
Posted in Internets Tubes Politics

Weakest Lincoln: Thinkin’ or Not, Napolitano Craps Out

Fox News contributor Judge Andrew Napolitano appeared on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart this week to strut his contrarian cred and ruffle some feathers. Problem is, he was just… plain… wrong. It was great of him to appear on…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Weakest Lincoln: Thinkin’ or Not, Napolitano Craps Out
Posted in Biz News Politics

Leaders Celebrate Leadership for the Infantilized Masses

Dateline: WASHINGTON—On this year’s Leadership Day, leaders from around the world in governments and corporations spoke about the meaning of leadership while the millions of followers showed that they understood by sitting cross-legged in circles, holding hands, and defecating in…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Leaders Celebrate Leadership for the Infantilized Masses
Posted in Biz News

Pathetic Résumé Supercharged by Plastic Folder

ANAHEIM, CA—The offices of Walworth and Rhodes were gut-punched with excitement upon seeing that an applicant’s otherwise completely unimpressive résumé had been placed inside a plastic folder. With a work history that made him an unequivocal leper in the job…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Pathetic Résumé Supercharged by Plastic Folder
Posted in War Zone World News

Putin Invades Coney Island To Help Russians Living There

Russian President Vladimir Putin has sent Russian troops into Coney Island, a part of Brighton Beach, New York, that has a large immigrant Russian population. Swarming ashore from submarines that covertly approached the beach, they quickly took over all government…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Putin Invades Coney Island To Help Russians Living There
Posted in Politics

Idaho State Senator Furious Over Virtual Lap Dance Ban

BOISE, Idaho – Sen. Sam Getzless of Pocatello, Idaho is fuming mad about the recent bill passed in his state banning virtual lap dances, otherwise known as “laptop dances.” Getzless claims the ban will affect roughly half the population as…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Idaho State Senator Furious Over Virtual Lap Dance Ban
Posted in War Zone World News

White House Claims WMDs Found In Crimea

In a stunning announcement at Wednesday mornings press briefing, White House Press Secretary Jay Carney announced WMDs have been discovered in the Crimean peninsula. “The CIA has determined and it has been confirmed through British Intelligence that convoys of Russian…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! White House Claims WMDs Found In Crimea