Category: Top Stories
Netflix to Extend Time Elapsed Before “Are You Still Watching?” Prompt
CALIFORNIA: Neil Hunt, Chief Product Officer for Netflix, announced today that the company would be increasing the amount of time a viewer must watch a show before the video service asks if they are, indeed, still watching. “In 103% of…
Breaking News: Russia Plans Invasion of Scotland if They Secede
The Russians have taken a keen interest in the vote for Scottish secession from Britain. Maybe too keen an interest. The British MI6 has picked up information that seems to point to the Russians invading Scotland should the ‘Yes’ vote…
Santorum’s Untimely September Crusade Against Wal-Mart
OK, I know the following article seems pretty anachronistic (in more ways than one, maybe). Still, if politicians make “untimely interventions” in issues that are more safely consigned to a different part of the calendar, it’s not my fault. Yes,…
Fact-Check: Mitch McConnell Really Supports Your Big Business: True
Washington outsider and regular everyman Mitch McConnell, Republican senator from Kentucky, has an ad claiming he supports big business, but does he really? Fact-Check: YES! It turns out, true to his claims, Mitch McConnell really does stand up for mega…
Russian Takeover Strategies Of Yesterday, Today And Tomorrow
2008- Russia invades former ‘comrade’ nation Georgia because Putin ‘has Georgia on his mind….’. March 2014- Russia takes over the Crimea because they want to protect their naval fleet, and their hidden stores of vodka. June 2014- Russia begins infiltration…
Apple to Remotely Disable All iPhone 4S Models and Older 7 Days After iPhone 6 Release
CALIFORNIA: In a statement released today by Apple CEO Tim Cook, all iPhone models 4S and older are scheduled to be shut down and remotely wiped seven days after the release of the iPhone 6 on September 9th. “Customers who…
Mitch McConnell TV Ad Fact-Checked: True
Washington outsider and advocate for change Mitch McConnell took a bold step this year, effectively crowd-sourcing his campaign commercials to the drooling masses. This inspired strike of utter genius can best be described as “SmarTarded™” in a way Kentuckians may…
National Front Thugs Horrified: Hitler a “Dirty Foreign [Insert Profanity Here]”
Most Americans have probably heard of the Front National in France, but not all US citizens may be aware of her somewhat less sophisticated and elegant sister party, the UK’s National Front. But admittedly, this club of assorted knuckledraggers, boneheads…
Arms Manufacturers Hope for Another Massacre To Stimulate Lagging Gun Sales
According to a recent Bloomberg.com article, guns sales have fallen off sharply since the days of the Sandy Hook and Batman movie massacres which is worrying arms manufacturers and salesmen. The fear of having guns banned or limited sent gun…
The 13th Annual Biggest Firework Ceremony Begins With a Blast
Kicking it off this September comes an event the whole world has begged to be a part of. Unfortunately for them, only a selected number of Muslims were able to make it inside. Since 2001, the Annual Biggest Firework Ceremony…