Category: Sports
Brains Donate NFL Players to Science
Chicago, Illinois – As the 2015 NFL draft is set to begin tonight at 8pm (est), the scientific community added to the excitement with a groundbreaking announcement last night that the brains of current and former NFL players, Michael Vick…
Skier Gets Tongue Stuck on Ice Cube
Los Angeles, California – Hundreds of skiers, snowboarders and snow tubers celebrated the grand opening of Mount Thang, located in the eastern side of the city this past weekend. In addition to celebrating Los Angeles’ first snow sighting since a…
Lifeguard Sets Unprecedented Record
Boise, ID—Lifeguard Brian McKearney broke a YMCA lifeguarding record today. “I’m on top of the world,” he said while being carried away to the employee’s lounge on the shoulders of his fellow aquatic guardians. McKearney could be heard yelling over…
Tom Brady: “My Balls Were Deflated”
Milford, Connecticut – After weeks of controversy against Tom Brady, Bill Belichick and the New England Patriots for whether they intentionally let air out of game balls, Tom Brady finally stepped forward in an interview on the Dan Patrick Show…
Katy Perry Spent a Lot Of Time Contemplating Her Super Bowl Act
“Maybe I should do a French Kiss with another superstar like Brittany Spears and Madonna did. I wonder if Taylor Swift would be available for that? Or should I do an underwear-less limo exit like Brittany did that one time?…
Fan Donations to the NFL on the Rise
NEW YORK – Many American football fans may not realize that the National Football League (NFL) is not a corporation, but a tax-exempt organization. Recently some real die-hard fans have been donating money to their beloved NFL, even though their…
Ichiro Suzuki Passes Drug Test, Fails Turing Test
When MLB teams acquire new players they expect their very best and this MLB offseason has featured an almost overwhelming amount of moves as teams try to upgrade their rosters and shift their focus in a new direction. Since Ichiro…
Lebron James Jr. Will Suit Up for Cavs
Lebron James will suit up for the Cavaliers as soon as possible. Lebron James Jr., that is. The son of the best player in the NBA will be replacing his injured father in the lineup for the next few weeks….
NFL Introduces New Team Name: Matthew McConaughey Celebrates with a Footlong
Washington, D.C. – Ending a long debate over the controversial name of one of its teams, the National Football League announced this week that the Washington Redskins will now be known as the Washington Breadskins. Originally established in 1932, the…
Is Cuba the Next Ping Pong Frontier?
As America’s relations with Cuba are bettered in the near future, many professional sports leagues are excited to pounce on the athletic talent in the small country. Major League Baseball teams are searching for the new Yasiel Puig or Aroldis…