Categorized | Entertainment, Sports Events

Fan Donations to the NFL on the Rise

Fan Donations to the NFL on the Rise

NEW YORK – Many American football fans may not realize that the National Football League (NFL) is not a corporation, but a tax-exempt organization.

Recently some real die-hard fans have been donating money to their beloved NFL, even though their donations are not tax-deductible.

“Football is my life,” says Wayne Smetsky of Green Bay, Wisconsin, who recently donated $500 to the NFL.

“Ever since I was a kid, I’ve watched football every Sunday. Watching football has brought me so many hours of happiness that I’m happy to give a little bit back to the league. Hell, they just gave me a raise to $9.50 an hour at my security guard job. And my parents don’t make me pay any rent to sleep in their basement, so I’m happy to share my good fortune and do my part to keep the NFL afloat.”

Greg Samsor of Washington, DC agrees. “My life would be totally meaningless without football. Sometimes I worry that some stupid head trauma class action suit will bankrupt the NFL. We GOT to keep the NFL going, so I’m willing to do my part.” Samsor donated $1,500 from his $5,000 savings account.

NFL spokesman John Manley admitted: “While the NFL is a tax-exempt organization, it is not a charity exactly. We do not solicit donations. It is true that some fans have donated money to the league in recent years. The NFL promotes the great game of football!”

“Our tax-exempt status allows us to pay the NFL Commissioner his well-deserved $30 million salary and meet other legitimate league expenses. If the NFL had to pay taxes, that would obviously hinder our ability to recruit top executive talent, such as the current Commissioner, who works very hard. This would impede our activities in promoting the great game of football.”

“I know that football players, coaches and owners make pretty good money,” said Sandy Fields, of Wichita, Kansas. “But I love football so much that I thought I would rather donate to the NFL than the Red Cross. With the NFL, I can clearly see where my money is going. Football defines what America is today, so it’s worth every penny. What has the Red Cross done lately? I haven’t seen them around much.”

Todd Swanson of Boston agrees: “While the few Americans who are not football fans may find donating to the League strange, the average American is actually grateful for all that the NFL has done for us. The NFL plays an important role in keeping people’s minds off the financial crisis and all of the wars in the Middle East.”

According to NFL spokesman Manley, the NFL has also kept up-to-date with the security requirements of America’s favorite sport.

“The NFL is also leading the way in welcoming the courageous officers of the TSA, as well as their universally-loved body scanner technology, into all its stadiums in the near future. Soon football fans of all ages can enjoy being scanned and have a moment of intimate physical contact as they enter to stadium to watch America’s favorite contact sport.”

“It’s reassuring to know that fans can watch NFL action without any fear that the boogie man or anyone else will jump out and get them. God bless America! And God bless the NFL!” concluded spokesman Manley.

Share

This post was written by

- who has written 24 posts on GlossyNews.com.

Dan Geddes is the author of The Satirist: America's Most Critical Book and the editor of the online journal The Satirist: America's Most Critical Journal (TheSatirist.com), an astonishing collection of satires, reviews, reviews of imaginary works, fiction, essays, poems, and satirical news. He lives in Amsterdam.

.

2 Responses to “Fan Donations to the NFL on the Rise”

  1. rfreed says:

    Well done!
    Is that photo from the Raven’s Roost on Madeleine Island in Lake Superior

    It’s amazing that the IRS can crack down on us little people but doesn’t touch the NFL. What a scam!

  2. Dan Geddes says:

    Thanks rfreed! Glad you approve!

Trackbacks/Pingbacks


Leave a Reply


We are also looking for a satire editor
and a Clever Photoshop Guru...
Glossy News Exclusive Exposés


-- (SEE ALL GlossyNews.com Videos) --



Glossy News Fake Commercials!





Glossy News Podcast


(Listen on iTunes or Libsyn)


More Great Satire:

Check out links to even more of our friends...
Want to see Your Link Here?



Our Top Authors (last 30-days)



All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial